Chapter 430 (2): A Bowl of Rice on the Table

The louchuan finally arrived at Cyan Gorge Island.

When disembarking the ship, Chen Ping'an retrieved a jade tablet and handed it to the small catfish, saying in a solemn voice, "Give this to Liu Zhimao and tell him to take care of it first. He can return it to me when I leave Cyan Gorge Island. Also, tell him that he shouldn't show himself before me when I'm still on Cyan Gorge Island."

The small catfish accepted the jade tablet, yet it was as if a small child had grabbed onto a scorching hot piece of coal that was still glowing red. It instantly released a high-pitched scream that reverberated through the heavens, and it almost transformed back into its true form that measured hundreds of meters in length, yearning to obliterate the dock of Cyan Gorge Island in a single strike.

Just as it was about to throw the jade tablet away, Chen Ping'an ordered expressionlessly, "Hold onto it!"

The small catfish was filled with fear, and it forcefully endured the excruciating pain as it tightly gripped the strange jade tablet inscribed with the characters, "nourishing the noble spirit," and went to look for the River Severing True Lord.

There were already people waiting to welcome them at the dock, and all of them behaved extremely servilely and obsequiously toward Gu Can.

"Please tell Aunty that I want to eat a normal family meal again. I'll be happy as long as there's a bowl of rice for me," Chen Ping'an said to Gu Can.

Gu Can nodded earnestly. He was happy as long as Chen Ping'an was willing to sit down to eat with him, so he instructed an old cultivator, a steward, to make haste and return to his residence to notify his mom. There was no need for fancy and extravagant food, and she simply needed to prepare an ordinary family meal!

Gu Can led the way, and Chen Ping'an slowly walked beside him.

Gu Can thought that Chen Ping'an was walking slowly so that they would immediately have food to eat once they arrived at his residence. He also wanted to wander around for a bit longer with Chen Ping'an, so he purposely slowed down his pace as well.

"I've already been in Pond Water City for many days, and I asked many people about matters related to you and Cyan Gorge Island island. I was able to hear many stories," Chen Ping'an suddenly said.

"I already guessed," Gu Can hung his head and replied.

"There are some things that I'm afraid I won't dare to say at the dining table, so before meeting Aunty, what I say next might not be what you like to hear," Chen Ping'an continued. "However, I hope that regardless of whether you like it or not and whether you think it's absolute bullshit and nonsense or not, you can let me finish speaking first. Can you do this? After I finish speaking, you can also speak your mind to me. I hope that you won't be like the assassin just then — you don't need to worry about whether I like your words or not. I want to listen to your true thoughts, so say whatever is in your mind."

"Mhm, you can speak and I'll listen," Gu Can replied.

"Sorry, it's my fault for coming so late," Chen Ping'an said slowly.

Gu Can suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Chen Ping'an also stopped. In the curious eyes of all the cultivators on Cyan Gorge Island, Chen Ping'an was nothing more than a middle-aged man with a listless expression. This wasn't necessarily reflected on his face, but the eyes were a reflection of one's heart, so it was impossible for Chen Ping'an to conceal his weariness.

The parting between the young boy in straw sandals and the little boy with two trails of snot in Clay Vase Alley had been far too hurried, so apart from some matters regarding the locust leaves, telling Gu Can to be careful of Liu Zhimao, and telling the very young boy to look after his mother, Chen Ping'an hadn't had time to say the many other things on his mind.

Chen Ping'an looked up at the mountain peak of Cyan Gorge Island and said, "I left the small town very soon after the snotty little kid left. I started to travel around the cultivation world, and I encountered some challenges and difficulties here and there. So, there was one thing that I was very afraid of.

"I was afraid that the snotty little kid would turn into the type of person that you and I hated the most when we were in the small town: a man who liked to harass women who were alone at home, who liked to bully the women's children if they were strong enough, and would casually kick children on the streets when they were drunk, causing the children to tumble along the ground.

"Because of this, the first thing I always worried about when thinking of Gu Can was whether the snotty little kid was living a peaceful and comfortable life. The next thing I worried about was what the snotty little kid who was best at bearing grudges would become like if he was enjoying a peaceful and comfortable life. Once he became stronger and more capable, would he slowly turn into the type of person who would kick children and disregard their lives when he was in a bad mood?

"Would the beaten child be aching in pain afterward? Would he be rescued by Chen Ping'an? And would his mother feel pained and bring him to the Yang Family's medicine shop where she needed to spend many copper coins to buy some medicine, causing their lives to become even more difficult in the following weeks and months? I was very afraid of this.

"However, I can't blame anyone else but myself. It was my fault for returning directly to the small town from the Great Sui Nation on my first journey, and it was my fault for not being willing to take a detour and delay the delivery of the sword by just a few months on my second journey when I clearly needed to travel south to Old Dragon City already. That way, I could have visited the snotty little kid and his mother to see if they were still doing okay.

"Instead, I learned that they were seemingly doing quite well and not in any life-threatening danger through some pieces of news, so I felt like I could visit them later when I also became stronger and more impressive. That way, I could give the snotty little kid a few more things. With this in mind, I convinced myself that I could visit them later.

"One is responsible for their own life and death when traveling through the cultivation world. You killed the guest elder on Cyan Gorge Island, you killed your senior brother, and you killed two assassins today. If I were present, then I would have helped you kill them even if you were unwilling to or unable to!

"When it comes to these kinds of people, I'll kill however many of them come my way. If ten thousand of them come my way and I only manage to kill 9999 of them, then I'll blame my fists for not being strong enough and my sword for not being quick enough!

"After all, I promised you and promised myself that I would protect the snotty little kid. This is the most logical thing in the world, and there doesn't need to be a reason behind why I'm doing this! There doesn't need to be a reason at all!

"You have a thousand and one reasons to convince yourself and convince me that Bamboo Scroll Lake is a filthy place just like this, a lawless region where others will charge over to kill us if we don't kill them first. However, these aren't reasons that can justify your killing of innocent people.

"So many people died mysteriously without even knowing the reason for their own deaths. You, Gu Can, might be able to get over the mental hurdle in your mind, but I, Chen Ping'an, can't. I'll think that the tens upon hundreds of people are tens upon hundreds of little snotty kids like the one who always followed behind me in Clay Vase Alley in the past. They're like tens upon hundreds of country bumpkins working in the dragon kilns. Yet, all of these people are now dead.

"However, the Chen Ping'an who was unwilling to knock on his neighbors' doors as he paced up and down Clay Vase Alley even though he was on the verge of starving to death isn't dead, and the snotty little kid who was randomly kicked by a drunkard back then isn't dead either."

Chen Ping'an paused for a moment, patting Gu Can's shoulder before continuing, "Let's go, Aunty is still waiting for us. No matter how difficult to traverse the path in front of us is, we still have to walk forward no matter what."

The two of them walked side-by-side as they continued forward.

"I, Chen Ping'an, don't want to become a sage of morality," Chen Ping'an said slowly. "However, not becoming a sage of morality doesn't then imply that we can completely disregard morals and reason.

"I don't care whether other people speak reason or not, but I care whether you, Gu Can, speak reason or not. Even though I don't know if this will change anything, I at least have to give it a try. I had no relatives left following my parents' death, so Liu Xianyang and you are essentially like my relatives.

"The world is so vast, yet in the small town, Liu Xianyang and you are my only relatives. I can turn a blind eye if the sky collapses in any part of the world. However, if the sky truly collapses and threatens the two of you, then I'll definitely attempt to push the sky back no matter how strong or weak I am at that time! Even if I can't push it back or hold it still, I'll definitely seek justice for the two of you!"

Several years ago in the Jewel Small World, Chen Ping'an had once thought that he may as well die for the sake of saving Liu Xianyang. He would seek justice for Liu Xianyang no matter the cost.

Now that he was in Bamboo Scroll Lake, Chen Ping'an felt like he had exhausted all of his spirit and energy to say these few words.

It was a different experience from before.

This was a matter that had caused Chen Ping'an to sit by himself like a dog sitting on the side of the street.

"If I weren't friends with you, Gu Can, then I wouldn't care even if I heard about you flipping the world upside down in Bamboo Scroll Lake. I wouldn't have traveled to Pond Water City, and I wouldn't have traveled to Cyan Gorge Island. My abilities are limited, so I wouldn't have been able to do anything even if I cared.

"I ignored the matters at the residence of the female ghost in the wedding dress, and I also ignored the sword cultivators whom I encountered at the Yellow Court Nation. I involved myself in the matters at the Flood Dragon Trench, and I lost the mountain seal that Mr. Qi gave me as a result. I involved myself in the matters at Old Dragon City, and my abdomen was severely wounded by a cultivator as a result.

"In this world, one has to pay a price for speaking reason. However, one equally has to pay a price for not speaking reason! The old flood dragon at the Flood Dragon Trench was almost killed by a sword cultivator, and Du Mao was also beaten half-dead by someone! This was the case for them, so this will also be the case for you, Gu Can! You might be enjoying life now, but what about tomorrow? What about next week? What about next year? And the year after?!

"You can force other people to 'reunite' right now, so someone else can equally force you and your mom to reunite in the underworld in the future!

"If it's possible, I wish that the snotty little kid called Gu Can continued to live at the end of Clay Vase Alley. I wish that I never gave you the small catfish back then. I wish that you simply stayed at Clay Vase Alley where I could visit you and Aunty every time I returned home. Regardless of whether you became slightly wealthier or I became slightly wealthier, you and your mom would be able to buy nice clothes and eat delicious foods. You would be able to enjoy a calm and peaceful life."

They approached the brightly lit residence that was no inferior to the residences of officials and wealthy nobles.

There was a dejected look on Chen Ping'an's face as he continued in a soft voice, "I've already said everything I want to say, and I don't have the energy to say anything else. So, it's your turn to say whatever you want when we eat in a moment. I'll listen to everything you have to say."

Gu Can raised his arm and wiped his face, not saying anything in response.

The entrance of the residence was very large, and once they entered, it took them a very long time just to walk to the dining room.

When Chen Ping'an stepped over the door threshold, he had already removed the mask that Zhu Lian had carefully crafted for him, revealing his true appearance.

A woman dressed in extravagant clothes was standing at the entrance of the large hall and looking around in anticipation. When she saw Chen Ping'an enter the hall with Gu Can, the rims of her eyes instantly became red. She quickly walked over to Chen Ping'an and carefully looked him up and down. Chen Ping'an had already grown much taller, and the woman was filled with mixed emotions as she covered her mouth with a hand, unable to say anything even though there were so many things that she wanted to say.

In reality, the woman felt extremely guilty in the depths of her heart. When Liu Zhimao had visited and told her about the small catfish back then, she had developed sinister thoughts at that instant, thinking that as long as this fated opportunity could stay with her Can'er, then it would be best that their young neighbor in Clay Vase Alley who had helped her and her son for so many years...

...Just go away and die.

"Hi Aunty, I hope you're doing well," Chen Ping'an greeted with a smile.

The woman choked up and replied, "I'm doing very well, just like Can'er, both of us are doing very well. Hurry up and come in. The steward of the island was in a great rush when he notified me of your arrival, so I was only able to cook two dishes. The servants in the residence helped cook the remaining dishes. However, they were all made according to the tastes of our hometown, so they're definitely the most authentic home-style cooking. It will definitely suit your tastes, Chen Ping'an."

"I'm sorry for troubling you," Chen Ping'an said.

The woman shot a glare at him and retorted, "What nonsense are you speaking?"

Chen Ping'an didn't say anything else.

The mother and her son as well as an outsider whom neither of them viewed as such entered the dining hall together and sat down.

Even though the dishes were all family-style dishes, they were still incredibly delectable and filled up the entire table.

Gu Can's mother also prepared the rarest and most valuable immortal crow caw wine of Bamboo Scroll Lake, something that was completely different from the so-called crow caw wine sold on the streets of Pond Water City.

She poured a cup of wine for Chen Ping'an, and Chen Ping'an couldn't turn down her offer no matter what he said.

In fact, even Gu Can, someone who didn't like to drink wine and never drank at home, asked his mom for a cup of wine today.

His mom faltered for a moment before smiling and pouring a cup of wine for him.

She sat in the host seat of the large round table, while Chen Ping'an sat with his back facing the door of the dining room. Gu Can sat between the two of them.

Gu Can turned around to look at his mom, saying, "I want to say something to Chen Ping'an before we eat."

His mom was a very observant person to begin with, so she had already noticed that something was not quite right between Can'er and Chen Ping'an. Even so, she continued to smile as she replied, "That's not an issue at all. Feel free to chat, and I'll help you refill your wine when you finish your cup."

Gu Can finished his wine in a single gulp, after which he placed his hand on top of his cup to signify that he didn't need any more to drink. He then turned to Chen Ping'an and said, "Chen Ping'an, what do you think I need to do in order to protect my mom? Do you know how many times either my mom or I were almost killed on Cyan Gorge Island?"

The woman's heart shuddered, and her expression was stiff as she sat there and clenched the hem of her clothes with her hands.

"Perhaps I should only kill the people who target me? Then what about the people behind the scenes who send the assassins after me? What about those ill-intentioned people who are lurking even further in the distance?" Gu Can asked.

"Maybe I should visit them one by one to greet them first? Perhaps I should speak reason with them, saying that I'm very powerful and the small catfish is even more powerful, so they shouldn't come over to provoke me or else I'll beat them to death?

"Do you think that all of the assassination attempts I've faced on Cyan Gorge Island are because of outsiders and enemies?

"Have you not considered the possibility that they were perhaps organized by my good master, Liu Zhimao?

"Chen Ping'an, you might answer me by saying not necessarily, and yes, that might indeed be the case. I won't lie to you and say that Liu Zhimao was definitely involved in those assassination attempts! However, I only have one mom, and I only have one life, so why should I gamble on these possibilities?"

Gu Can stood up and exclaimed in anger, "Chen Ping'an! I definitely won't fight back even if you beat me to death today! However, before I'm beaten to death by you, I want to tell you that I, Gu Can, didn't do anything wrong! Even if I did, I'm not going to admit it! I'm not going to change! I won't change for the rest of my life! And I won't change even if it means death!"

Gu Can's expression was twisted, yet unlike normal, he wasn't feeling anger and resentment toward the person he was looking at. Instead, he detested himself, the entire Bamboo Scroll Lake, and everyone else in the world. It was because of these things that the person whom he cared about the most didn't understand his extreme grievances.

"I'm essentially asking a tiger for its skin in this place, so if I don't rip their skin off and wrap it around myself, then I'll end up freezing to death. If we don't eat their flesh and drink their blood, then my mom and I will starve to death!

"Chen Ping'an, I'm telling you that this place isn't our home, Clay Vase Alley. There aren't just repulsive adults who steal my mom's clothes. The people here will completely devour my mom, not even leaving behind any bones. They'll make her suffer agony that's even worse than death!

"In the same way, I won't just come across drunken bastards in the alleys who kick me simply because they don't like the way I look!

"Do you know how scared I am in this place?

"Do you know how much I wished you were always by my side and protecting Mom and me just like before?

"Chen Ping'an, you don't know!

"You only know how to hit me and scold me!"

In the end, tears streamed down Gu Can's face as he sobbed, "I don't want the next reunion between you, my mom, and me to be at a grave in Bamboo Scroll Lake where you're offering incense and wine to us! I want to be able to see you again, Chen Ping'an..."

Gu Can continued to sob as he ran out of the dining room. He didn't run far, however, and he sat himself down on the door threshold.

Chen Ping'an didn't run after Gu Can, and he instead looked at Gu Can's mother and said in a hoarse voice, "Aunty, I'm not going to drink today. Can you please give me a bowl of rice?"

Feeling frightened and uneasy, Gu Can's mother hurriedly wiped away her tears before nodding and walking away to bring Chen Ping'an a bowl of rice. Chen Ping'an stood up to accept the bowl of rice, and he gently placed it on the table before sitting back down.

There was once again a bowl of rice on the table.

When sitting in his neighbor's house in Clay Vase Alley back then, Chen Ping'an had been a little boy even younger than Gu Can was right now. A bowl of rice had been sitting on the table in front of him just like this.

Chen Ping'an raised a slightly shaking hand, yet he ultimately didn't pick up his chopsticks. Instead, he retrieved a book from his robes and placed it beside the bowl of rice.

This was an old and yellowing fist guide.

Chen Ping'an reached over and gently straightened the cover.

This book had accompanied Chen Ping'an for tens of thousands of kilometers, witnessing the vast and extraordinary world and witnessing all of his joys, sorrows, reunions, and partings.

He had read the fist guide countless times, yet the book was still very tidy and almost without a single crease.

Chen Ping'an had only allowed the old man in the bamboo building to read it once, yet he had wanted Cui Chan's grandfather to take more care when turning each page, nagging him about it countless times and ending up being rewarded with another beating. Cui Chan's grandfather had scolded him and said that how could someone who practiced martial arts be so attached to a useless book? How could he hope to capture the world inside his fist intent?

Of course, Chen Ping'an had also shown the book to the girl whom he liked. However, they hadn't expressed their feelings to each other back then, and Chen Ping'an had only shown her the book for the sake of learning how to read. He had wanted to know what the fist guide was all about.

In fact, Chen Ping'an had also ticked her off back then, with Ning Yao mistakenly thinking that Chen Ping'an was looking down on her and suspecting that she was trying to secretly learn the measly fist techniques.

The bowl of rice had been a life-saving grace.

The fist guide had also been a life-saving grace.

Chen Ping'an bit his lip, not turning around as he said in a quiet voice, "Gu Can, we agreed back then that I was only borrowing this fist guide from you, and that I would eventually return it to you one day."

Gu Can immediately stood up, roaring in anger, "No, I don't want it back. I gave it to you, so it's yours now. You mentioned returning it back then, but I never agreed to this! You need to be reasonable!"

𝗳𝚛𝗲𝕖𝕨𝕖𝗯𝚗𝚘𝕧𝕖𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝕞

In the end, Gu Can was sobbing as he pleaded, "Chen Ping'an, please don't be like this... I'm afraid..."

In the eyes of the child who was extreme yet very intelligent for his age, Chen Ping'an was the only person in the world who spoke reason. It had always been like this.

Chen Ping'an didn't say anything, and he picked up his chopsticks and lowered his head as he started to eat rice.

He didn't look up again the entire time he ate the bowl of rice.