Chapter 801: The Affairs of the Family, the Nation, and the World

Xia Chichi looked at Yue Hongling with a hint of trepidation.

From what little she knew about Yue Hongling, it was hard to imagine this woman discussing children, let alone agreeing to be a godmother... and to her, no less.

Out of the corner of her eye, she stole a glance at Zhao Changhe, only to find him smiling, as if this were the most natural thing in the world.

“What are you standing there for?” Zhao Changhe beckoned. “Come, let’s take a walk together.”

“You and Chichi rarely get time alone, so I won’t be intruding on your walk. Otherwise, Chichi might think I’m hovering over you two like a giant lantern[1] and accuse me of lacking social awareness.” Yue Hongling smiled casually. “I’ll use my time to study the White Tiger’s texts instead. As for that so-called dual cultivation sharing... if it turns out to be necessary, we can discuss it then. But I doubt it will be. The White Tiger’s texts aren’t particularly profound in today’s world.”

Xia Chichi tilted her head in disbelief.

She actually said that she would be willing to do so if it turned out to be necessary, meaning that she was not outright rejecting the idea.

Seeing the Empress’ exaggerated head tilt and adorable confusion, Yue Hongling could not help but laugh. She winked playfully before drifting away. “Looks like you and I need to deepen our understanding of each other, Your Majesty. It seems we both only see each other through preconceived labels...”

“What does she mean by that?” Xia Chichi stomped her foot. “Is she saying my impression of her as an upright heroine is wrong? That she’s actually a wild one?”

Zhao Changhe chuckled and pulled her hand, leading her further into the garden. “Alright, you’ve been the empress for so long, but you’re still acting like Baoqin.”

Xia Chichi’s eyes narrowed. “...I suspect you’re insulting me.”

Zhao Changhe finally burst into laughter.

She tilted her head at him. “Do you prefer it when I maintain a regal and dignified air? Does that make things more fun for you? Would you rather I use ‘We’ instead of ‘I’ in every sentence?”

“Not at all. I just want you to be the most natural version of Chichi.”

Xia Chichi huffed twice, then lifted her gaze to the sky. “The natural Xia Chichi, huh? That means I’ll be petty and jealous, unlike Yue Hongling, who’s so carefree.”

Zhao Changhe said, “Then be petty.”

“Hey, I just thought of something. Was your first time with Yue Hongling?”

“...Yes.”

“And your first love?”

“You.”

Xia Chichi’s steps faltered for a moment. Her eyes darted around instinctively, but there was no one else in sight. There were only the brilliant peach blossoms in full bloom, mirroring the color of her cheeks in that instant.

She bit her lower lip and lowered her head. “And your first kiss?”

“Also you.”

“And the first time you, you know...?”

“Still you.”

The little witch empress’ eyes sparkled, but then her expression turned a little strange. After some mental calculations, she realized that if she had not insisted on joining the Four Idols Cult, all of Zhao Changhe’s firsts would have been hers, and he might have even remained hers alone.

Zhao Changhe, however, picked up on something else in her string of questions. “Chichi, are you thinking about heading out into the

jianghu

again? Have you been stuck in the palace too long?”

“...Yeah.” Xia Chichi did not deny it. “I kind of miss being the little witch of the

jianghu

. And I envy you all, fighting your battles out there. I finally understand why you didn’t want to be emperor back then. The palace may be vast, but it feels like a cage. Still, taking the throne was my own choice. Sacrifices will always have to be made.”

Zhao Changhe said, “There will come a day when the empress must personally go to war.”

Her eyes gleamed. “Really?”

“We’re rehearsing the Four Idols Formation. You’re an irreplaceable part of it. Did you think we were training to battle the rest of the harem in the palace?”

“You’ve been studying karma. Can you foresee when that day will come?”

“Uh... My research on karma isn’t that advanced yet.” Zhao Changhe laughed. “But I do know when you can leave the palace.”

“When?”

“Now.”

Xia Chichi was momentarily stunned. She was just about to speak when she suddenly felt a tug on her hand. In the next instant, Zhao Changhe pulled her into his arms. The world spun around her, and before she could react, the scenery around her had changed.

Just a moment ago, they had been in the imperial garden, surrounded by peach trees in full bloom. The vibrant blossoms painted a breathtaking scene. But in the blink of an eye, they were somewhere else entirely. They were now on a rugged mountain path, surrounded by wild, untamed greenery.

Xia Chichi blinked.

Teleportation? How far did he just take me?

The landscape looked oddly familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. She scratched her head in confusion.

“Well, well... Where did this young master and young lady come from, strolling hand-in-hand through Beimang for a spring outing?”

A voice called from above, followed by figures leaping down from the cliffs, blocking the path from both sides.

Beimang? Zhao Changhe’s teleportation covered that much distance? And he even brought me with him.

Xia Chichi finally understood why this place felt both familiar and foreign.

Back when she was still a bandit, she had been assigned to ambush travelers in this very area. But she never actually got the chance to do so as it had been the dead of winter then, and no one had been foolish enough to travel these roads.

She had never seen Beimang in the late spring before. Naturally, the lush, flourishing landscape looked nothing like the bleak, frozen wasteland she remembered.

Wait a minute, we’re on a mountain path in Beimang. Are we getting robbed by Beimang’s bandits right now?

“Are you two mute? Or have you just been scared stupid?” The bandits sneered, brandishing their blades as they closed in. “Judging by your looks, you’re pretty well off. Be good and hand over all your valuables, then maybe keep us company for a bit...”

Before he could even finish, the girl who had seemed so dazed and frightened in the man’s arms straightened up. Her eyes gleamed with excitement. And as for the man, he was grinning, his gaze full of indulgence.

The girl’s voice was practically cheerful. “You’re robbing

us

?”

The bandits: “?”

Why the hell do you sound happy about that?

Xia Chichi clasped her hands behind her back and sauntered forward with a playful sway. Without thinking, the bandits instinctively stepped back half a step only to immediately realize how ridiculous that was and thus forced themselves to hold their ground.

What the hell? Why did it suddenly feel cold? Aren’t these two just a pair of ordinary young nobles? There’s nothing that screams they’re experts. And that girl is just downright adorable...

Xia Chichi stopped in front of the leader, stretched out her neck to size him up, and then made a face of disappointment. “The quality of bandits here really has gotten much worse.”

Zhao Changhe chuckled behind her.

Of course, she was not comparing the bandits to him. She was comparing them to Luo Qi.

Who in the world could compete with you in looks?

“Stop... stop acting so cocky!” The bandit leader finally lost patience. “Be smart and hand over—”

Crack!

A delicate, jade-like hand wrapped around his throat, cutting his words off mid-sentence.

Xia Chichi smiled sweetly. “Hand over your valuables.”

The bandits: “?”

No one saw how she moved. One moment, their leader was talking, and the next, he was lifted clean off the ground. That seemingly delicate hand hoisted up the burly man as if he were nothing more than a ragdoll.

And the strangest part? He could not even struggle. There was no kicking, no flailing—nothing.

The bandits finally realized they had walked straight into a nightmare. They all turned and prepared to flee only to find that their legs would not move.

The winding mountain path suddenly felt alive, as though it had transformed into the body of a dragon, coiling around them, tightening its grasp.

Zhao Changhe tilted his head.

This technique... Chichi’s showing off.

Xia Chichi was flaunting the ability she had gained after breaking through to the Profound Control Realm, and it was far more profound than he had expected.

“Hand over all your money.” Xia Chichi’s smile remained bright. “Be nice and I won’t eviscerate you~”

The bandits trembled, fumbling through their robes and pulling out meager offerings of scattered copper coins and broken bits of silver. “Mercy, great heroine... please...”

Xia Chichi beamed and called out cheerfully, “Collect the money.”

Two and a half years after leaving her life as a bandit in Beimang, Xia Chichi finally accomplished her first robbery.

Zhao Changhe finished collecting the money and grinned. “Now what?”

Xia Chichi made a chopping motion but then sighed. “We turn them in... We did establish these laws ourselves, after all.”

“As you command.”

A gentle breeze passed through, and moments later, at the city gates of Beimang County, over a dozen bandits mysteriously appeared, their acupoints sealed so tightly they could not even wiggle a finger. None of the guards had any idea where they had come from.

At the secluded pool behind the mountain, Xia Chichi stood by the water’s edge, gazing at her reflection. In the clear water, her joyful smile was mirrored back at her.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, and Zhao Changhe’s face leaned over her shoulder, joining her in looking down.

The pool remained as clear as ever.

She stared at it for a long while, her smile never fading. “There are still bandits under my rule... I should feel ashamed. But I can’t lie to myself, I’m actually happy.”

Zhao Changhe pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “It’s because you’re still a little witch at heart.”

“Changhe...”

“Hm?”

“Since when did you get so good at this...”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I guess it’s a good thing.” Xia Chichi turned her head slightly and kissed the corner of his lips. “After all, if I’m a little witch, I don’t want my husband to be some blockheaded fool with no sense of romance. You were a bit too dumb before.”

“That was just an act. I’ve always been a bad man.” Zhao Changhe’s lips traced along her earlobe. “For example... back then, when you stood right here taking off your clothes, I peeked.”

“You...”

“Will you let me look this time?”

“...Yes.” Xia Chichi bit her lower lip, her eyes gradually turning misty. “Since you’re already looking... is that all you can do? Just keeping your hands around my waist? Can’t they move somewhere else?”

The hands around her waist shifted—one sliding up, the other trailing down.

The lower hand paused at a certain spot, and she heard his low murmur by her ear, “Are you asking me to take a look at the little White Tiger?”

From head to toe, memories and desires surged through Xia Chichi like wildfire, igniting everything within her. “Changhe, I want... the rougher, the better...”

* * *

“Where’s Her Majesty?”

Tang Wanzhuang emerged from her meditation and turned her head. Yue Hongling sat beside her with the White Tiger’s texts in hand, occasionally consulting Lady Three and Huangfu Qing about specific Four Idols Cult terminology. The two venerables answered while flipping through their own texts, searching for anything related to time and space.

It seemed that everyone had emerged from meditation, yet Zhao Changhe and Xia Chichi were nowhere to be seen.

“They were strolling in the imperial garden earlier,” Yue Hongling said absentmindedly as she flipped through the White Tiger’s texts. “Her Majesty has it tough. With her personality, being cooped up in the palace every day must feel suffocating. The peach blossoms were in full bloom just now. It seemed like a good time to let her and Changhe wander around for a bit.”

Tang Wanzhuang nodded. “Her temperament is truly... so she dragged Changhe out for a bit of fun?”

Yue Hongling thought for a moment, then smiled faintly. “She did, at first. But I doubt that’s the case anymore.”

Lady Three and Huangfu Qing both glanced at her, then at each other, their expressions tacitly understanding.

That little man of theirs had gotten a little

too

good at this these days. If Zhao Changhe had been this considerate back then, they all might have fallen for him twice as fast. But more importantly, if he had improved this much, would it be enough to deal with the likes of Jiuyou and Piaomiao?

Tang Wanzhuang did not particularly care about who led whom outside. She just needed to confirm their whereabouts. As the prime minister, she could not very well have both the empress and herself skipping work at the same time. Since Xia Chichi was taking a “personal day” with her man, she had to pick up the slack. “Then let them rest a while longer. I’ll take care of some affairs.”

As the most unconventional duo of empress and prime minister in history, Tang Wanzhuang enjoyed an unusual level of privilege. When Xia Chichi needed to enter seclusion or attend to other matters, Tang Wanzhuang could directly step into the imperial study, approve petitions, and even conduct court discussions on the empress’s behalf.

While the war had raged in the north, the capital had its own pressing matters, most notable of which was the long-awaited first imperial examination. Thousands of scholars had gathered in the capital, preparing for the spring exam. If not for the war, the exam would have taken place even earlier.

No matter how much of a martial arts world this was, brute strength alone was not enough to govern a nation. The development of civilization required a different kind of knowledge, the very same governing wisdom that Cui Wenjing always spoke of. Back in the day, Tang Wanzhuang herself had traveled to the capital as a scholar to study this very subject.

Historically, the selection of government officials had been monopolized by the aristocratic families. Now, however, the first open imperial examination marked a turning point in history. Its significance was in no way inferior to the northern campaign.

With that weighty thought in mind, Tang Wanzhuang quickened her pace toward the imperial study, eager to review the new petitions and gather the ministers for a final round of discussions.

But the moment she reached the study’s doors, all her solemnity vanished.

As someone at the Profound Control Realm, no amount of soundproofing could hide the noises coming from inside. From within the study, she could hear the empress’ slightly hoarse voice.

Tang Wanzhuang sighed in exasperation.

Weren’t they supposed to be enjoying a scenic stroll in the imperial garden? What’s the point if they just end up back in bed?

She was about to turn and leave when the sounds inside finally began to subside.

Ah. They’re finished, huh?

Inside the study, Zhao Changhe said, “You just said that collapsing every time isn’t the best experience, and yet you keep asking for more. How many times is it now? Have you still not had enough...?”

Tang Wanzhuang: “...”

Her Majesty’s voice followed, slightly hoarse. “But I’m just so happy today... I can honestly say, since ascending the throne, this has been my happiest day. Even the victory reports from the north didn’t make me as happy as this. I feel like I could die happy right now.”

Tang Wanzhuang: “...”

“Alright, alright. Your voice is getting hoarse. You should rest.”

“I won’t be able to rest for long. First, there was the formation, then breaking through in cultivation, and now we spent all day outside... There are still state affairs to handle. I can’t forget my responsibilities.”

“The northern barbarians are settled. What pressing matters are left?”

“Plenty. Overseas trade, new agriculture experiments, land distribution... Oh, and we’re currently debating whether to ban land sales altogether.”

“Hmm... I’ve heard of that theory before, but I don’t know if it’s right. Too bad I used to sleep through class. I’ve already forgotten half of what I learned. I’m probably the lamest transmigrator ever.”

“Trans...what...? And class? Didn’t Instructor Sun always praise you?”

Zhao Changhe chuckled. “You really think this is something Old Sun could’ve taught me?”

“Hmm... Actually, yeah, this kind of thing isn’t something you can just learn from a lecture. It requires thorough investigation and tailored policies based on different circumstances. The answers may not be the same as the ones recorded in ancient texts.”

“Have the imperial examinations started?”

“In a few days. Too bad you won’t be able to oversee it. We originally planned for you to be the chief examiner so that all scholars would technically become your disciples.”

“That’s just a backdoor way of creating a faction of personal students and former officials. Shouldn’t we put some restrictions on that?”

“It’s hard to eliminate completely. There will always be different versions of it. Wanzhuang and I have discussed it, but we haven't come to a solid conclusion. So in the end we just thought... why not simply make them your disciples?” Xia Chichi sighed. “Alright, alright, talking about this is making me restless. I can’t just lie here anymore... You rest. I’ll have someone summon Wanzhuang to discuss this.”

Outside the door, Tang Wanzhuang had been listening quietly the whole time. Unconsciously, a soft smile had formed on her lips.

This kind of discussion... feels just like casual family talk. It’s so nice.

Hearing that last line, she decided there was no need to wait for a summons.

She pushed the door open and stepped in. Then, without any trace of awkwardness, she shut the door behind her in one smooth motion.

Inside, the young couple sat against the headboard, completely bare, staring at her with wide, blinking eyes. Both of them looked a little dazed.

Tang Wanzhuang smiled. “I thought you knew I was outside... It turns out that even with your cultivation, you’re still completely defenseless.”

Zhao Changhe cleared his throat. “Uh... We might’ve been too trusting in the array outside and the guards. We didn’t expect an inside agent.”

“Alright, alright, I’m the inside agent then.” Tang Wanzhuang sat down naturally beside Zhao Changhe, picked up a damp cloth, and handed it to him. “Clean yourself properly. Stop using the Heavenly Tome for everything, at least show some respect.”

Zhao Changhe: “...”

Seeing him frozen in place, Tang Wanzhuang smiled. “What? Do you need me to do it for you?”

“Uh, no, that’s not what I meant...”

But before he could say anything more, Tang Wanzhuang had already started, her motions natural and composed. Though her cheeks carried a faint flush, she remained calm as she continued speaking.

“The system of personal students and former officials[2] will never be completely eradicated. We have to take it one step at a time. At the very least, this system is significantly better than the old recommendation-based one. Oh, and by the way, the martial examination is also beginning alongside the imperial civil examination. A few of the candidates have already been secretly recruited into the Demon Suppression Bureau, specifically the promising young talents you mentioned before. In the eyes of the world, since these people were recommended under your name, they will always be considered your disciples. Whether you personally acknowledge them or not doesn’t change how people see it.”

Zhao Changhe tilted his head, staring at this intellectual assistant who was seamlessly balancing government affairs and personal duties at the same time. The feeling was indescribably bizarre.

Xia Chichi had also been watching in a daze. After a long while, she finally muttered with a sour tone, “Alright, that’s enough. How long are you going to keep wiping the same spot? At this rate, you’ll rub him bald down there. It’s not like it’s even necessary. Judging by the look in his eyes, you’ll probably have to clean yourself up in a bit too.”

1. This is a reference to a more modern term for “third wheel,” though the word usually used for that is light bulb. ☜

2. This refers to a political strategy where an influential figure establishes a vast network of loyal students and former subordinates to maintain power beyond their own tenure. ☜