Chapter 646: When the Jokester Becomes the Joke

Vermillion Bird noticed Lady Three laughing off in the distance, but there was no time to deal with that hateful turtle. Right now, she was literally burning at the seat, figuring out how to deal with an enraged Chichi.

What troubled Vermillion Bird the most was that, in the past, she had genuinely and righteously opposed Zhao Changhe’s relationship with Xia Chichi... and she was sincere about it. Back then, she even thought of killing Zhao Changhe to put an end to everything, and if she had not feared that doing so might provoke Xia Chichi into rebellion, she might really have done it.

Not to mention anything else, just the idea that a saintess should not let her affection sway away from the cult was enough for her to take such actions, and her fear had indeed proven true. Whenever Zhao Changhe was involved, Xia Chichi would lose all objectivity, so how could she continue being the saintess, let alone a candidate for cult leader?

It only showed how wise and farsighted she was in opposing the relationship back then!

But when she herself took the lead and got on the ride, even the most righteous foresight turned into unjust behavior. To anyone, it would seem like she was simply competing with her disciple for a man. That was the main reason why she could not reveal her identity later on. The deeper she got involved, the more afraid she was to confess until it finally became impossible to hide.

Was this the karmic consequence for once wanting to kill Zhao Changhe?

And now, her disciple was even asking if she had done it to snatch him for herself. How was she supposed to respond?

Vermillion Bird was stuck in silence for a long while before finally managing, “You know why I stopped you in the beginning... And later, wasn’t it you who matched me up with him? You even said it yourself...”

Xia Chichi: “...”

Right... Just a few days ago, she had taken credit for matchmaking them, saying so out loud.

Xia Chichi’s face turned greener than the Azure Dragon[1] itself.

This was not just out of anger and embarrassment—her social death was no less severe than Vermillion Bird’s. Just days ago, she was taking credit as the great matchmaker, even discussing with Huangfu Qing on how to deceive Vermillion Bird together. In her eyes, did she look like nothing more than a clown on a stage?!

She had even pretended to force her to serve tea and punished her by making her copy the

Classic of Materia Toxica

.

No wonder Vermillion Bird later punished her for everything, even down to how she entered a room with her left foot first. All that followed had been endless punishments of copying texts.

The humiliation of being betrayed by her master, mixed with the shame of being a fool, left Xia Chichi with no other way out but to tear someone apart.

“Oh, so it’s all because of me, huh? But the one I matched was the Fire Serpent of Yi—where is she? Let her come out and speak a few words, maybe serve some tea?”

Vermillion Bird stiffened, unable to respond.

Xia Chichi shook Vermillion Bird—whom she had once feared severely—by the collar. “Speak, little serpent! Isn’t that tongue of yours usually so glib and that mouth equally adept? Your oral skills are supposed to be so impressive, aren’t they? What happened? Why are you so mute now?”

“The Fire Serpent of Yi is now the empress dowager.” Vermillion Bird finally said. “If anything, you should serve her tea...”

“Pfft...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

” Lady Three rolled on the grass, wheezing.

Xia Chichi almost jumped up. Did this fake mother think she could not tear her apart?!

Vermillion Bird continued, “Besides, I never stopped you later on. Just a few days ago, you made yourself look like Tang Wanzhuang’s personal maid, stepping in to support her when she faltered. I clearly knew and said nothing, right? Didn’t I tacitly allow it...”

Xia Chichi fumed, “I’ve already ascended the throne and am to be cult leader—you couldn’t stop me even if you wanted to! And you call that a favor? Why don’t you explain to the followers how you ended up stealing your disciple’s man?!”

“Um...” Zhao Changhe wiped away his cold sweat. Normally, he would not know how to intervene in a battlefield of emotions, but this time, he could not just play dead—if he did, Chichi might really start a fight.

He carefully tugged at Xia Chichi’s sleeve, intending to speak, but she yanked away, yelling, “You stay quiet! You’re not the one who was punished with copying texts! Today, I have to tear her apart...”

“Then punish me instead.” Zhao Changhe said with a sheepish smile. “Whatever punishments you’ve suffered before, I’ll bear them with you. Don’t be angry.”

This showcased Zhao Changhe’s experience after countless battles—if he had pleaded for Vermillion Bird or said that he would take her punishment, Xia Chichi’s anger would have only intensified. But what he said was, “I’ll bear them with you.”

Xia Chichi’s anger lessened by a few percentage points upon hearing this, and at least her tone was not as agitated. She said coldly, “This has nothing to do with you. You were deceived too, weren’t you? I bet you just found out yourself, which is why you’re so eager to dominate her now. You’re doing great. Just keep her pinned! Why should you share in my punishment?”

Zhao Changhe replied, “It’s my fault for making you upset. If I hadn’t been so greedy, none of this would have happened...”

Holy shit...

Lady Three stopped rolling on the ground laughing, stunned into stillness.

If you were always this good, how did things get so messy in the first place?

Xia Chichi said angrily, “I know you’re just trying to smooth things over for her, trying to make me swallow my anger! You’re always picking on me. Even back when that aunt-master of mine was involved, you said she was your wife who shares your burdens...”

Lady Three: “?”

Vermillion Bird: “?”

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Lady Three began backing away, one cautious step at a time.

Zhao Changhe did not notice Lady Three’s retreat. He was too focused on Xia Chichi’s fury. From the moment he spoke, Vermillion Bird had fallen silent. It was obvious to everyone that he was helping Vermillion Bird save face, which, of course, infuriated Xia Chichi. But was he not also helping her? If things escalated further, what would she really gain? Vermillion Bird’s pride would never let her back down, and she was both Xia Chichi’s master and empress dowager. Titles aside, Vermillion Bird had genuinely guided and supported her through her cultivation journey. How far could they really tear each other apart?

The cruel truth was that even if they did turn on each other, Xia Chichi would not win that fight.

Zhao Changhe considered for a moment, then looked at Vermillion Bird. “Just now... you acknowledged me as the new Night Emperor, didn’t you?”

Vermillion Bird drew her gaze back from Lady Three and gave a soft “Mm-hm.”

Zhao Changhe continued, “Then will you follow my command?”

Vermillion Bird glanced at Xia Chichi, then gave another quiet “Mm-hm.”

“Tonight was supposed to be a night of grand celebration for the holy cult, with Chichi becoming the cult leader. That’s a settled matter. My order is that, regardless of whatever the original ceremony entailed, whether it involved blessings or a coronation, we’ll be altering it slightly. Venerable Vermillion Bird will simply serve the cult leader a cup of tea.”

Had it been a suggestion, Vermillion Bird might have insisted on keeping her pride and refused. But Zhao Changhe made it an order.

“This is an order,” he emphasized. “If you acknowledge me as the new god, then follow my command.”

It appeared to be a command, but in truth, it was a way out. Vermillion Bird took it comfortably. “Understood. I follow the will of the revered god.”

Xia Chichi opened her mouth, the fire in her heart seemingly dissipated. If Vermillion Bird truly humbled herself to serve her tea, it meant bowing her head and admitting fault. Regardless of the reason, the essence would be there.

After all, no matter what, they were still master and disciple, mother and daughter—it was a family matter, with the only thing missing being someone admitting they were wrong. As long as the prideful Vermillion Bird was willing to bow her head and admit her mistake, there would be no lingering resentment.

As for the future... in the future, I will be the cult leader, and she will be my subordinate. We’ll take it slow! Hmph.

Xia Chichi’s anger subsided, though Vermillion Bird’s did not.

She was indeed in the wrong, willing to accept the opportunity Zhao Changhe offered her to back down. But bowing her head to a disciple and admitting fault was an immense loss of face. For Vermillion Bird, who had held onto her pride for a lifetime, her face burned hot beneath her mask. Without it, she was not sure she could even stand there anymore.

She needed to redirect her anger.

Her beautiful eyes swept around and landed on Lady Three, who was peeking at them from a distance.

“Yuan Sanniang[2]!” Vermillion Bird gritted her teeth. “So you’ve been in cahoots with him all along, pretending to be impartial and advising me to accept the new empress! You treacherous backstabber, I’ll kill you!”

Boom!

Flames roared, a massive firebird diving toward the distant grass—its intensity far surpassing her earlier sparring with Zhao Changhe.

“...” Lady Three turned to run but could not outrun Vermillion Bird. Soon enough, she was caught, forced to turn and fight back.

The two venerables battled on the outskirts of the capital—water and fire clashed, changing the winds and clouds.

“This is for your own good!”

“Stealing my man is for my own good?!”

“Yes, just like you said it was for Chichi’s good...”

Xia Chichi opened her mouth, then closed it without saying anything.

“Lady Three, you’re dead!”

“I meant it was good for you to let go and not be torn. Look at how great things are now! All this talk about doctrine and faith—do those compare to having a man?”

“So all your lofty speeches were just nonsense, then?”

“They weren’t entirely nonsense... Oh, come on, believe me~”

Boom!

In truth, Lady Three was still stronger than Vermillion Bird, and significantly so... But she felt guilty, so she did not dare fight with all her strength. After only a few exchanges, she was pressed down. Vermillion Bird sat on top of her, pounding her on the grass. “Inviting you to join the cult at Lake Tai was the biggest mistake of my life!”

Lady Three wailed, struggling without success: “Zhao Changhe, say something! Aren’t you good at smoothing things over? Help me, please~”

Zhao Changhe covered his face, while Xia Chichi folded her arms in silence.

It was a good thing they had changed locations to fight. If this had been in front of the followers of the cult, the Four Idols Cult might have disbanded on the spot.

1. Note that the word used in “azure” for the Azure Dragon is 青, which can mean either blue or green. ☜

2. Note that this is Lady Three’s actual name, though I’ve been keeping it as Lady Three as that was what was originally established with Sanniang/Lady Three (三娘). ☜