Chapter 158: A Stomp of A Thousand Kilograms

The pill poison had already been neutralized by the Blue Poplar Pill, so Li Banfeng slipped into the Pocket Dwelling, fully intending to sleep through the night and worry about the cave tomorrow.

It was bitterly cold outside. Yet the moment he stepped into the room and took a small sip of wine, warmth spread through him. The room felt far cozier than it had any right to be.

It was strange.

Could it be...

Li Banfeng thought.

"Heyaaaaaaaa! You lunatic! Kissing another woman right in front of me? How am I supposed to go on living like this?"

His wife had woken up. Li Banfeng hurriedly explained, "I didn’t kiss anyone. I was just taking a sip of wine."

"I saw it with my own eyes, and you still won’t admit it?"

The wine gourd chimed in, sounding offended. "Little sister, I only have one mouth. I just gave him a sip of wine. You’re overthinking it."

"Little sister?" the gramophone snapped. "Who are you calling little sister? You steal my man, and now I’m supposed to call you elder sister too?"

"My, my, what a temper you have, little girl," the wine gourd shot back. "What, you want to fight me?"

The wine gourd clearly had a temper.

"Hah!" the gramophone sneered. "In no time at all, I’ve turned into a girl again. Tomorrow, do I need to start calling you Madam as well?"

Clang! Clang! Clang!

The gongs and drums crashed louder and louder as the Tang saber suddenly started singing.

"New laughter fills the hall, old tears go unheard.

"Human hearts fade with the years, no longer as they were.

"This matter, clouded and unresolved, must be judged beneath clear heaven."

Li Banfeng kicked the Tang saber away. Seeing that the situation was about to spiral out of control, he retreated to the outer room to take shelter.

There, the bronze lotus was still refining pills, layers of light rippling steadily across its surface.

This batch was taking an unusually long time. Pan Dehai’s flesh showed no sign of finishing anytime soon, and even the Dripper’s corpse had yet to be refined.

Clattering sounds echoed from behind the door. Five minutes later, a burst of laughter rang out.

"Ho ho ho ho!"

Why is my wifey laughing? Could it be that she killed the wine gourd? I lost such a valuable artifact just like that?

Li Banfeng went pale. Thoroughly pale.

In a panic, he shoved the door open. A thick, overpowering wave of wine rushed out to greet him, rich enough to make his head spin on the spot.

Glug...

Gurgle gurgle...

His wife let out a drunken hiccup and burst into song. "Good sister, today we truly became acquainted through a fight!"

The wine gourd replied at once, sounding uncharacteristically humble. "Senior, I spoke without restraint just now and offended you. With my lowly status, how could I dare call myself your sister?"

"Oh, stop that at once! Don’t call me senior either. You’re making me sound ancient. From now on, we are sisters!"

What... just happened?

The truth was simple enough. The wine gourd had never planned to fight the gramophone in the first place. While darting around theatrically, she had released a cloud of wine mist, dumping half a gourd’s worth straight into the gramophone’s water tank. After downing the wine, his wife’s mood brightened instantly, and just like that, the two of them became sworn sisters.

Phew!

His wife took a huge gulp from inside the water tank and let out a satisfied sigh. "Drinking without food always feels like something’s missing."

"I’ll go buy groceries tomorrow!" Li Banfeng said at once.

His wife was still dissatisfied. "If you buy them tomorrow, doesn’t that mean we’re drinking plain wine tonight?"

Then what do you want instead?

Li Banfeng wailed inwardly.

I am the only thing left in this room that can be eaten. Are you planning to eat me?

As he was grumbling to himself, he suddenly noticed the gongs and drums beginning to grow restless again, their rhythm picking up as if something dreadful were about to resume.

Da da da! Ha!

What are you doing? Are you really going to eat me?

Given his wife’s temperament, it was honestly hard to say.

Just as the tension stretched to the breaking point, the wine gourd hurriedly spoke up and steered the conversation elsewhere. "Sister, what did you mean just now by buying groceries?"

"Catch people and bring them back to eat!" his wife replied bluntly, without the slightest hint of tact.

The wine gourd did not look shocked in the least. "Sister, this truly isn’t our little brother’s fault. Just the day before yesterday, he really did catch someone and bring them back. Unfortunately, you weren’t awake at the time, so he handed the person over to the Second Madam."

"The Second Madam?" the gramophone snapped. "You mean that slut Crimson Lotus? Heyaaaa! Husband dear! Does that mean the one you caught was already dead?"

The wine gourd said, "It was indeed dead. It died before entering the door."

Hmph!

The gramophone let out a cold snort. "I don’t eat dead things. What’s there to eat in such filthy stuff?"

"Sister, the Second Madam has been eating it with great delight," the wine gourd continued cheerfully. "It’s already been two days, and she still hasn’t finished."

"Two days and still not finished?" Hmph, hmph. The gramophone puffed out two angry bursts of steam. "Heyaaaaaaaaaa! Husband dear~ Just what kind of good thing did you catch for that slut Crimson Lotus?"

"It wasn’t anything special," Li Banfeng said, wearing a plain, honest smile. "Just the Dripper from Mount Bloodfang."

"The Dripper? You mean that Dripper? From the Dripper Bloodfang Monster?"

It was just as expected. His wifey had extensive knowledge.

The new land beside the Three-Shift River was sparsely populated. Mount Bloodfang was hardly a known place, and the Dripper was not a high-level aberrant creature. Yet even such a being was familiar to his wife.

"Wifey, that really wasn’t anything special. The Bloodfang Monster only has a level-five cultivation, and the Dripper might not even be as strong as a Bloodfang Monster."

"Heyaaaaa! Husband dear~" the gramophone wifey sang with a tone filled with resentment. "You were stupid! The Dripper and the Bloodfang Monster are unique aberrations found only in the new land. Creatures like that can’t be measured by the cultivation levels we use. That was truly good stuff, and you handed it cheap to that slut Crimson Lotus!"

Li Banfeng didn’t understand. "Why can’t they be measured by the cultivation levels that we use?"

"In the new land," his wife said, "aberrant creatures are divided into three types.

"The first type consists of living beings from Puluo Province who accidentally entered the new land. After prolonged exposure to the new land, they gained some Dao affinity and became aberrations. However, they don't have a high level of Dao affinity, which is why cultivation is hard for them.

"The second type consists of their descendants. They were born in the new land, but their souls were not created in the new land. This type of aberrant creature would have a greater level of Dao affinity than the first type. They also look more peculiar. An example of this type of aberrant creature would be Madam Bagworm Moth.

"The third type is native to the new land. Both their bodies and souls are nurtured entirely within it. Their bodies are saturated with Dao affinity, making them rare and exceptional ingredients."

Brimming with Dao affinity?

Li Banfeng thought.

Isn’t Dao affinity just dark matter? Does having more dark matter in one’s body really make it superior?

Li Banfeng asked, "Then how much Dao affinity does the Dripper have?"

His wife answered with an analogy. "It’s like someone who’s been exposed to Heavenly Light. Just thinking about it makes one’s mouth water!"

Li Banfeng shuddered and decided to stop talking about aberrant creatures altogether.

"Wifey, I’m going to sleep in the fourth room."

"What are you going to the fourth room for?"

"There’s too much wine vapor here. It’s choking me, and I can’t sleep."

"Go on, go on! Don’t disturb us sisters while we drink! Little Sister Gourd, that little gourd mouth of yours is too small. You’ll suffer for it sooner or later."

"Suffer how?" the wine gourd asked nervously. "Sister, don’t scare me."

"I’m not scaring you! You just don’t know how ruthless our madman is. When he oils my machine, he’s absolutely vicious, always striking right where you can’t take it..."

Li Banfeng turned and fled.

The fourth room lay at the far end of the outer chamber, the one farthest from the main room. He entered, laid out his bedding, crawled under the covers, and went straight to sleep.

The next morning, Li Banfeng climbed up the rock wall along the vines and entered the cave.

The cave was not wide, but it was well ventilated. He sniffed carefully and found no foul or stagnant air inside.

After taking a few steps forward, the sluggish resistance beneath his feet returned. It felt like walking through thorny undergrowth.

No, it was worse than that. It was even more intense than walking through thorns.

When he had walked through thorns before, it had felt as though he were wearing shackles. Inside this cave, it felt as if both his feet were bound fast.

After advancing several dozen meters, Li Banfeng was already panting. A subtle change within his body told him his daily cultivation was already complete.

Based on his own understanding, a level-three Wanderlust Cultivator would need to walk seventy-five kilometers. And yet, he had already completed it?

It was good to improve in cultivation, but how was he supposed to get through this cave?

According to Old Mister Yao’s map markings, the cave stretched for over fifty kilometers. Yet he had barely entered the cave mouth and already could not go on.

As Li Banfeng worried over this, he casually glanced back toward the cave entrance. Something was swaying there, too far away to see clearly.

Two antennae, a segmented body, and far too many legs.

A millipede.

This creature was also known as a thousand-legged bug. Li Banfeng compared it to the size of the cave entrance. Even lying flat against the ground, it rose to nearly half the entrance’s height. It was already a full meter tall, and its length was impossible to gauge.

Is it a benevolent creature?

Li Banfeng wondered.

It was hard to say.

Li Banfeng hurried to his feet and tried to flee, but after taking only two steps, he realized something was wrong. His speed was lacking. His legs felt far too heavy, and he could not run fast at all.

His speed was poor, but the millipede’s was not.

Sss sss! Sss sss!

The creature scuttled toward Li Banfeng, its countless legs wriggling and shivering together like a living carpet that had decided to crawl.

Running away was not an option. If he turned his back and let it catch him from behind, it would be very dangerous.

Li Banfeng drew his sickle and Tang saber and charged straight at the millipede.

Seeing him approach, the millipede immediately raised its guard, lifting part of its body and looming down at him. Under normal circumstances, Li Banfeng would not have feared such a creature, but this situation was anything but normal.

He felt that his legs weigh a thousand kilograms. Each step dragged, slow and heavy, robbing him of the Wanderlust Cultivator’s greatest advantage.

The millipede attacked first. One antenna whipped down toward him. Li Banfeng twisted aside with great effort. The antenna missed him by a hair’s breadth and smashed straight into the rock wall behind him, sending stone flying.

Such power from a single antenna! This creature’s strength is no less than Madam Bagworm Moth’s!

The millipede raised both antennae, clearly preparing another attack. If they struck together, dodging again would be extremely difficult.

The situation was critical. Li Banfeng did not fancy waiting politely to be flattened. He gathered his strength, ready to leap, hook the creature’s head with his sickle, and sweep across with his Tang saber in one glorious motion.

Bang!

Li Banfeng stomped his foot on the ground and failed to jump.

The Tang saber swept forward, but without Li Banfeng’s coordination, the move was far too obvious and was easily knocked aside by the creature’s antenna.

This insect was no simple brute. It was clever, its attacks and defenses sharp and deliberate. It lunged both its antennae at Li Banfeng from either side at once.

Li Banfeng dropped into a crouch just in time. The antennae missed him by a whisker, scraped along the ground, and then whipped back again for another strike.

This insect was vicious as hell. It had already figured it out. Li Banfeng couldn’t jump, so it shifted its attacks to his lower body.

How am I supposed to dodge!

The two antennae crossed behind Li Banfeng, leaving him no room to retreat.

Jump!

No matter what, he had to jump!

Even if both his legs felt as heavy as a thousand kilograms, he had to jump!

Li Banfeng glared fiercely, his eyes bloodshot, forcing every scrap of strength into his legs as he tried to leap.

His right leg lifted, but his left did not. What should have been a jump ended with him stamping the ground in place.

It’s over! If the millipede hit my legs, I’d be crippled for sure.

Li Banfeng had underestimated it, thinking it was nothing more than a bug. He never expected to suffer so much because of it.

If he had known things would turn out like this, he would have hidden in the Pocket Dwelling from the very beginning instead of fighting it head-on.

Li Banfeng hurriedly pulled out his key. Even if both his legs were smashed by the millipede, he would crawl back into the house if he had to.

But just as he drew the key free, he realized something was wrong. The antennae had not struck his legs.

Where did the antennae go?

The antennae were floating above in the cave.

The millipede had raised its head and stood upright, as if pondering something.

What just happened? Did the wine gourd help me?

The wine gourd said, "Little brother, you just crushed a small stone."

A small stone?

Li Banfeng looked down and found half a stone beneath his foot.

Where did the other half go?

The other half was embedded in the millipede’s head. Its head was very hard. It hadn’t been pierced through, but a dent had been smashed into it.

Li Banfeng stared in astonishment at his own feet, then looked again at the shattered stone.

Author's Note:

PS: The new land is, in many ways, the perfect place for Banfeng