Chapter 1245: Injury

Qing Ling descended to Gao Yang’s side on her Tang Dao. She wore a brown coat with horn buttons, her hands in her pockets, and her almost shoulder-length black hair tickling the cheeks of her impassive face.

“It’s cold outside,” Qing Ling said.

“Cold is good,” Gao Yang responded. “I have been feeling stuffy since waking up.”

“Your injury hasn’t recovered.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not just talking about your physical injury,” Qing Ling added.

Gao Yang said after a pause, “And you?”

“I’m not injured,” Qing Ling said, then huffed out defiantly, “I’ve been getting stronger.”

“True,” Gao Yang agreed with a faint smile.

Qing Ling hopped off her blade, sitting by his side.

Only once the first round of fireworks was finished did Qing Ling say, “What are you thinking? And don’t tell me nothing.”

Gao Yang had always been honest with her. “I’m thinking about the last New Year’s Eve. Wang Zikai, Fresh Snow, and Gao Xinxin were going to play fireworks, but Adept Horse suddenly die, and Gao Xinxin and I rushed back to the S Base.”

“I left Gao Xinxin at the base after dealing with the matter with Adept Horse. I didn’t spend the rest of the New Year with her. Since we were little, we’d been spending every Lunar New Year together. That was the first exception. We’d lost Grandpa, Granny, Mom, and Dad. I was her only family. Yet I abandoned her...”

Qing Ling listened quietly.

Gao Yang looked down at his hands. “How could I be so cruel?”

Facing the night breeze, Qing Ling asked in a softer tone, “Do you miss her, Gao Yang?”

He nodded.

“Then visit her.”

Gao Yang paused. He knew what she meant, but he didn’t respond. His body shook uncontrollably.

Qing Ling tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing the expanse of pale skin underneath. “Do you know what my dream was before awakening, Gao Yang?”

Gao Yang shook his head.

It was sudden. She had never talked to him about her life before awakening, and it was the first time he ever heard the word “dream” coming out of her mouth.

“I’ll tell you,” Qing Ling said seriously. “Don’t laugh.”

Gao Yang nodded.

Qing Ling said, “I want to be an adult helping with funerals.”

“Helpers?” Gao Yang said uncertainly.

“Yeah.” Qing Ling looked down at the mountain ranges submerged in moonlight. “In the countryside, whenever a household loses someone, a funeral band would set up a tent in the front yard and an altar in the living room, as well as organize a banquet that lasts three days. Percussions and firecrackers can be heard throughout the period. The family will kneel in the living room and kowtow when the mourners visit.”

𝙧𝙚𝙚𝔀𝒆𝓫𝓷𝙤𝓿𝒆𝙡.𝒄𝙤𝓶

“I’m familiar with that.” Gao Yang grew up in the countryside, too, so he was no stranger to the process.

Qing Ling nodded and continued, “The funeral band isn’t enough. The other adults in the community have to volunteer their help. Most are adults in their forties and fifties. Some are men, others are women. That’s the kind of adult I wanted to become.”

Gao Yang quietly listened.

“After my parents passed away, my aunt organized a funeral for them in their house in the countryside. It was my first time going through the process. I was helpless. I didn’t know what to do at all. An uncle led me through it every day, telling me where to stand, where to kneel, where to eat, whom to kowtow to, and what to do at any time. He made it easy for me.”

“It was the same with the other helpers. The reception, serving of tea and water, organization of the funeral service, the seating arrangement for the banquet, and documenting the mourners... They all knew what they had to do well. They were the ones keeping the messy proceedings running smoothly.”

Qing Ling paused to consider her words. “Some of the helpers knew the dead or were family, so they offered their help for that connection. At the same time, though, they weren’t that close to the dead, so they were calm enough to do things properly...”

She brushed her hair back once more. “Anyway, they were professional and knew what they were doing. They were always on something, always offering help in different parts of the funeral. Sometimes they raised their voice and attended to emergencies. Other times, they stole breaks and had a smoke in the backyard, an unseen corner, or the field. When they smoked, they looked numb and blank, but as soon as someone called out to them, they would cast the cigarettes away and return to the bustling crowd...”

Gao Yang closed his eyes. The picture was clear in his head. He was surprised that Qing Ling, never one for more than a few words, could describe the scene in such vivid detail.

“The helpers aren’t the focus at a funeral, and few pay attention to them. But they each have their role and know what to do. They are never...” Qing Ling said emphatically, “...

never lost

.”

She looked into the distance. “I was captivated by them. I wanted to become someone like them.”

Gao Yang wasn’t sure what to say.

And Qing Ling wasn’t expecting a comment. “In less than a year, my dream was broken.”

“You awakened?” Gao Yang guessed.

Qing Ling shook her head. “No, I attended another funeral. For the uncle who helped me.”

Gao Yang’s eyes darted to her.

“He died in a car accident, left lying in a coffin in the mourning hall. My aunt and I paid our respects. A helper led the uncle’s high schooler son to kowtow to us.”

Qing Ling lowered her eyes. “When I went home that day, I was heartbroken. I cried for a long time. I realized that while I could be a cool side character maintaining a distance while offering help at another’s funeral, sooner or later, I would still end up the main star of my own funeral, helpless in a coffin.”

She turned to Gao Yang with gentle and empathetic eyes. “Everyone meets their death one day, Gao Yang. There’s no running away from it.”

She was done with her story.

She had never talked about this with anyone, not even the little sister she had lost. But tonight, she suddenly felt like telling Gao Yang. She believed he would understand.

Tears streaked down the young man’s pale face.

With a trembling voice, he said with the broken light of pain and desperation in his eyes, “I...want to visit Xinxin.”

Qing Ling took his hand.

“I’ll go with you.”