Chapter 97: Your Heart (1)

“You look like it’s your first time hearing this,” Lady Silver Lily said. “Did the Constellation that sent you not tell you anything beforehand? That’s rare. When sending their apostle, the Constellation usually gives them as much information as possible. Are you perhaps on bad terms with your Constellation?”

“An apostle...?”

“You really don’t know anything. Interesting.” Lady Silver Lily opened a drawer and pulled out an hourglass which looked exactly like the hourglass she had just turned over.

She lightly pressed the bell on her desk and the office door opened.

“Yes, my lady.”

“You have fifteen more minutes. It may be longer, so tell everyone they may relax,” she instructed the servant.

“It seems you’re enjoying the conversation. Shall I bring you some tea?”

“Hmm, yes, bring the one from Jerny.”

“Understood.” The gray-haired servant bowed and left.

I stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

Lady Silver Lily looked at me and the corners of her mouth rose slightly. “It’s okay. Stand comfortably.”

She was certainly not telling me to sit.

“Which Constellation sent you? Mutia? Trinity Star? Hismit Critz? Nazaro? Psimae? Hmm, you don’t look like you’ve heard of any of them before. Who in the world are you representing?”

“The librarian from the Great Library of All Life... No, the Indoor Librarian sent me.”

I fumbled my words a bit. My mind was in disarray. I had sensed that the woman in front of me wasn’t ordinary, but I didn’t know that it would turn out like this. The reason I belatedly managed to remember the title was only because I held onto the last bits of my disarrayed mind.

“Library... Indoor...” Lady Silver Lily twirled her quill with her left hand. “Ah, Hamustra.”

She knew the Constellation’s real name.

“Hamustra didn’t explain anything to you?” she asked.

“...The Indoor Librarian wants to avoid intervening in the affairs of an apocalyptic book as much as possible. He would prefer if I found out the information myself, rather than giving it to me.”

“An apocalyptic book?”

“...That’s what the Indoor Librarian calls a world destined for destruction because its barrier collapsed without its Constellation,” I explained.

Lady Silver Lily’s eyes slightly narrowed as if she found that sentence amusing. Her red eyes stood out even when they were narrowed; they had a color that overwhelmed whoever she looked at.

“It’s quite arrogant of him to call someone else’s world whatever he pleases. I guess it’s expected from a Constellation. An ‘apocalyptic book’. Hmm, an apocalyptic book... it isn’t wrong to say that this world will end someday, but I can’t just hand over my soul.”

I blinked.

“...Wait, you still look like you have no idea what I’m saying. Did you not possess the body of Lady Goldencup’s butler to take my soul?”

I shook my head. I really had no idea about this either.

Lady Silver Lily pursed her lip. She was looking at me like I was a unicorn. With her eyes still on me, she opened the drawer to take a third hourglass out.

Ding.

“Yes, my lady? I happen to have the tea ready.” The gray-haired servant smiled gently.

“Rest for fifteen more minutes.”

“The others will love that.” The servant left.

Lady Silver Lily’s eyes didn’t leave me even as she sipped her black tea. “Lady Goldencup’s butler.”

“Oh, please call me Kim Gong-Ja. That’s my real name.”

“I don’t want to. It’s rude of you to ask that of me. Blame yourself for possessing a butler who is not a noble.”

She seemed to be acting a little snooty.

“Anyway, I get that you’re a blank page. It seems that you didn’t even receive the strategy guide.”

What was this strategy guide supposed to be?

“It’s like this.” Lady Silver Lily took out an A4-sized piece of paper from her drawer. It was marked with rounded cursive writing.

1. Lady Silver Lily is sensitive to sunlight. When planning a date with her, schedule it in the evening or deeper into the night, not during the day.

2. Lady Silver Lily has a dull sense of taste, so she likes strongly flavored food.

3. Lady Silver Lily likes white flowers. However, she got sick of lilies because she’s already received too many of them. Keep this in mind when choosing a gift.

4. Lady Silver Lily is a pragmatist. She prefers talking about politics, diplomacy, and money. Remember that reading her love poems is useless.

𝒻𝑟ℯℯ𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑛𝘰𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝘮

...

10. Lady Silver Lily is loyal. It's okay for her to gossip about the empire or the crown prince, but she does absolutely not tolerate others doing so. Be careful.

I was at a loss for words. What the hell?

“This is the strategy guide that the apostle who came to win my heart on the sixth round was carrying. That once, sent by the Constellation named Mahos, called it the romance route.”

My mouth dropped to the floor. “R-romance route...”

“I was so dumbstruck that I poisoned him to death and then took it away,” Lady Silver Lily calmly said. “When he died, he screamed, ‘I followed the guide perfectly, so why haven’t you fallen for me!?’ as if he were the victim. But I was the victim. How can there be a strategy guide to a person’s heart?”

[The Silver-Plated Heart has raised her complaint.]

“They thought I was easy. If they genuinely wanted to win my heart, they had to make advances fair and square. But all they talk about is the strategy guide and the romance routes. Those people were rotten to their cores.”

“You... You’re right.”

“I feel like I can talk to you.” Lady Silver Lily put down her teacup. “There’s a reason I have a high opinion of you. Not only are you smart, but I also can feel that you see the people in my world as human beings.”

“R-really? I feel like you’re complimenting me for being normal...”

“There were many, many beasts who couldn’t meet the obvious standard. Those beasts didn’t consider the people human, yet they firmly believed themselves to be humans. They’re filthy creatures.”

My breath caught in my throat.

She rested her chin on her palm as she examined him. After letting out a moan, she nodded. “Is that so?”

Badump.

“What I said just now means a great deal to you.”

Badump.

“Have you also seen many people like them? Have people ever looked at you with those kinds of eyes too?”

Badump.

“If it’s neither, then... I see. Someone precious to you said something similar...”

“My lady.”

I cut her short, unable to bear her gaze anymore. It was like she split open my chest, ripped out my ribs, and then held a magnifying glass over my raw heart.

[The Silver-Plated Heart looks at you.]

I couldn’t let her control this conversation anymore.

“Despite what you said, you also looked down on me for possessing a commoner, not a noble.”

Lady Silver Lily didn’t even blink. “What? Are you that upset that I didn’t call you by your real name?”

“I’m just saying that you aren’t in a position to claim superiority, my lady.”

“I’m not in a position to claim superiority... You really sound like the bad butler who turned the academy upside down.” Lady Silver Lilly’s voice somehow had a hint of joy. “However, I admit that you make a point. So let’s get back to the conversation we were originally having.”

Lady Silver Lily coughed. “So?”

“Pardon?”

“I understand that you don’t want my soul. Then why did you cross the boundary of worlds and come here? This is a world where ten days repeat forever.”

[The Silver-Plated Heart doubts your sincerity.]

“Surely the Constellation didn’t exile you here because he hates you. I heard that Hamustra is somewhat of a moderate, but that doesn’t mean you came here to enjoy a vacation. Actor who plays the butler of Lady Goldencup, answer my question.”

“I...” I trailed off.

“I won’t accept a lie for an answer. The moment you add even a hint of a lie, you’ll never be able to get whatever it is you seek from me. I don’t show my heart to someone who doesn’t show me theirs first.”

I fell into thought. One of the possible reasons would be that I wanted her world to become the Tower’s twenty-fifth floor. But was this stage really necessary for the people of the Tower? No, it wouldn’t be a problem if another apocalyptic book was picked for the twenty-fifth floor.

It was true that a fragment of my holy sword lay somewhere in this world. Did I have to collect all of the fragments and complete the holy sword, though? No, I didn’t. Finding Shiny’s sisters would make me, her owner, stronger, but that also meant that there was no deeper meaning to it.

So why should I stay in this book?

“... I don’t know love yet,” I blurted.

“What?”

“Maybe it’s closer to romantic feelings. I’m ignorant of them. You may not know this, but this world’s genres include romance. So I think this is the right place to learn about love.”

When Teacher had been in her last match, the Guardian had shouted something as they locked blades.

—Gong-Ja hasn’t experienced the happiness of the world yet.

—You know what, Heavenly Demon? This guy has never fallen in love with anyone. He's never been on a date either! Isn't that funny?

Those words were deeply engraved in my heart.

“If there’s something I lack, I want to learn it. It doesn’t feel fair to leave that unknown. I won’t feel like I’ve lived life to the fullest.”

Lady Silver Lily examined my face carefully. I might have been imagining it, but her red eyes seemed to be tinted with confusion.

“So you want to learn about love?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“From me?”

“... I’m not sure about that.”

“Explain.”

I collected my thoughts. “To be exact, it’s more like I want to learn about love in this world.”

“This world...”

“Yes, I want to know what I lack.”

“Then why did you come to me? Wouldn’t it be better to go to your Lady Goldencup?”

The Inquisitor. Lady Goldencup.

“No, it wouldn’t,” I answered.

“Why? Do you not like who is possessing her?”

“It’s not a matter of like or dislike. That person is...”

“If I were like you,” the Inquisitor said.

“That person is more clumsy at this than I am. If I’m going to learn, I should learn that from someone who knows better.”

Lady Silver Lily took a sip of tea. After a moment of silence, she agreed. “Well, Lady Goldencup in this round doesn’t seem like the type of person who could teach someone about love. It seemed like she should be taught.”

“That is correct.”

“But that still doesn’t seem like a reason for you to come to me.”

“I have a reason,” I replied, my voice growing as I remembered the thought I had in the dungeon. “I want to understand you.”

Lady Silver Lily blinked. A couple of tea drops splashed out of her cup, slightly dampening the front of her dress. It seemed she hadn’t expected what I’d said.

“You want to understand me...?”

“Yes. I don’t know if it’s for the crown prince or the empire, but you have devoted your life. I’m curious as to how you can do that. I want to know what kind of thoughts and feelings can make you do that. If it’s because of love, I wish to feel it, just like you. I’m a little embarrassed, but I’m answering as honestly as I can.”

It took a while for Lady Silver Lily to answer.

“You... You’re not like anyone I’ve ever dealt with before.”

Now I could see clearly that she was flustered.

“You want to know about love. That statement alone shows that you don’t know how scary people are. But you also want to understand me? Those are not words that should be spoken lightly. They poison people. Understanding is no different from responsibility. But...”

“Mr. Librarian.” I looked up at the ceiling. Of course, he wasn’t there, but he would be listening to this conversation. The Hunters in the Tower would also be watching this. “Please stop the broadcast for a moment. I have something I want to tell Lady Silver Lily only.”

A moment later, I could hear a voice in response to my request.

[The Indoor Librarian has readily accepted your request.]

[The Indoor Librarian has approved a ten minute skip.]

Okay.

I looked at Lady Silver Lily again. “I’m also a regressor, but my regression is a bit different from yours, my lady.”

“How different is it?”

“You said that you repeat the last ten days of your life. When I die, I go back a day. It’s not like I just go back. If someone kills me, I can see their trauma before going back.”

“Trauma?”

“Yes.” My voice echoed softly in the office. “I can see the wounds, memories, and scenes that people keep deep in their hearts. If their wound is from the destruction of their treasure, I can see that very moment.”

I didn’t have to pick my words carefully. I just left my mouth open and let my tongue move on its own, and what I wanted to say flowed out of my mouth.

“I can understand other people a little more easily.”

As I told my secret to Lady Silver Lily, I suddenly realized that I had wanted to tell my story to someone who lived a life similar to mine.

Lady Silver Lily was quiet. As I continued my story, her eyes became calmer. I could feel she was listening to me seriously.

“It’s my Skill, a sort of technique. I’m afraid that I’ll get used to understanding others easily. One of the people I trust the most told me that I should never rely on my Skills. But...”

“But?” she repeated.

“If my understanding of them is one-sided...”

“...It wouldn’t be understanding anymore.”

“But I can’t just leave them alone because...”

“Because if you also give up on them, they’ll wither to death. Even if it’s just hypocrisy, you want to let them know that you’re still there for them. You’re very blessed to have that possibility, aren’t you?”

I choked up for a moment. “...Yes.”

“Fool.” Lady Silver Lily closed her eyes. “It might only take a moment to understand someone, but the responsibility will last forever. You’re voluntarily stepping into hell.”

After that, she fell silent.

[The Indoor Librarian notifies you that the scene skip has ended.]

“Alright, butler of Lady Goldencup.” Lady Silver Lily opened her eyes. She picked up one of the hourglasses that she had turned over on the desk and watched the grains of sand slipping away. “I’ll teach you love.”