Chapter 90: A Trashy Show Is A Classic (3)

“What kind of trashy novel is this...” I grumbled. I felt like I was going crazy.

The Inquisitor smiled. Despite the fact we had been locked up in an old storage room—a prison, for all intents and purposes—his face was almost blindingly bright in the moonlight.

“Ah, I was forced to crossdress many times when I was young. I never thought I’d actually end up playing the role of a young noble lady. Such is life, I guess!”

“I wish I could get just a little bit of your bottomless optimism...” I mumbled.

“The world is a beautiful place, Mr. Death King! Think positively!”

Did this guy ever stop smiling? Even if a meteorite were to land in front of him, he would probably laugh and say, “This is quite a problem! The world is going to end! Oh, well. There’s nothing we can do about it. We did our best!”

“What is there to be positive about?” I asked.

“Like this, for example!” The Inquisitor moved his fingers and made a hand seal. Then he whispered, “

Divine Formula: Transformation.

”

Light flowed out from between his slender fingers. It was the Inquisitor’s trademark divine magic, Divine Formulas. Judging by the name, this Divine Formula was a technique to change something.

At first glance, there was no difference. However, as soon as the Inquisitor opened his mouth, I was covered in goosebumps.

“... How is it? Do I sound a little more like a noble lady now?”

“Your voice...”

“Yes! I changed the structure of my vocal cords a little.” The Inquisitor smiled. “I’ve heard that my voice is gender-neutral, so if I give my vocal cords a little polish, it should work pretty well. Ah, I can’t really judge my own voice. What do you think?”

“It’s amazing...” I admitted, genuinely impressed. “You seem like a very elegant noble. Uh, well, as long as you stay quiet.”

“Thank you!”

I stroked my chin. We had unexpectedly assumed the roles of the female lead and her butler. However, the Inquisitor and I could handle it. The Inquisitor had his Divine Formulas... and I had my regression Skill.

Okay.

I nodded. It was worth a go.

The Inquisitor looked at my face. “You look a little better.”

“Huh?”

“You looked gloomy ever since you returned from the

Heavenly Demon Chronicle

, Mr. Death King. It seemed like you accumulated a lot of stress while clearing the apocalyptic book.”

I was speechless for a moment.

“Well, it’s natural since you lost your precious teacher! I was worried that you might be too depressed to be able to display your full abilities in this expedition, but I was worried about nothing.”

“...You can guess what other people are feeling by their expressions, huh?”

“Yes! I don’t really know what depression is, but I understand the theory! Haha. Even machines creak when they have too much grime. And stress is probably human grime. If they’re left for a long time, it becomes a bitter residue and is hard to clean off, so take good care of it!”

Interesting. He was trying to understand humans in his own way? He was a psychopath, but he was a commendable psychopath.

“Anyway, Mr. Death King.”

“Yes?”

“I noticed something strange a while ago.”

“Strange? What?” I asked.

“As I understand it, we’re currently imprisoned for an unjust reason. Our freedom of movement is suppressed,” the Inquisitor answered.

“That’s how I understand the current situation.”

“I’m glad that we’re on the same page! In this kind of situation, the authority usually appoints guards to watch the prisoners. Otherwise, they could easily escape.” The Inquisitor tilted his head. “But I can’t feel any movement outside the door right now—instead, I sense presence outside the window. Hmm. Do they place guards around windows instead of doors in this world?”

At that moment, the iron bars fell out of the window and shadows jumped into the room.

“Damn it! Go get them!”

“It doesn’t matter if you kill the man! Just don’t hurt the woman!”

The shadowy intruders were wearing masks. Their outfits were too unconventional for us to consider them guests who came to visit us out of concern—anyone could tell that they were here to attack us.

“Shiny!”

[Shiny answers your call.]

I drew my holy sword and locked blades with one of the intruders.

In movies, the ambushers and ambushees often exchanged conversations like, “Who are you!?”, “You don’t have to know! But we have a powerful person behind us!” We didn’t do anything like that. Both he and I were busy swinging our swords.

However, I had the ultimate trick up my sleeve.

“Now!”

On my signal, the holy sword lit up.

“Urgh!” The assailant was used to the darkness, so he shut his eyes, although it was only for a moment.

In the middle of a fight, a moment was all it took. I blinked my left and right eyes alternately to maintain my vision and then cut off the assailant’s hand.

“...Gnah...!”

His voice was strangled by pain.

“Mr. Death King! You can’t kill them all! We need to find out who’s behind them. Keep them alive!” the Inquisitor shouted as he battled the other assailants, the hem of his dress fluttering.

That was what I did.

“This is ridiculous! S-she’s not some ordinary girl!”

The not-so-skilled assailants were shocked. Maybe the Inquisitor and I were too good. These small fries who couldn’t even use aura couldn’t handle us—all four of them were subdued in an instant. One of them was killed by the Inquisitor during the fight.

“Ahem. Hahahaha.” The Inquisitor wiped the blood on his face with the sleeve of his dress.

The assailants looked up at the Inquisitor, their faces pale.

“We heard that you’re a delicate noble lady... How...”

“You have three choices!” The Inquisitor laughed heartily, brandishing his dagger. “First, you can ask me to kill you right here and I’ll do it for you! Second, you can give me important information while I torture you one by one! Lastly, you can just give me the information. That way, you won’t die or be tortured! Which one will you choose?”

“Hah...” The oldest-looking of the assailants scoffed. He was also the one who had lost his hand to me. “You’re crazy. Just kill me!”

“Okay!”

“What?”

And then the Inquisitor's dress got a little redder. A thud echoed through the storage room as the assailant’s head fell to the floor. The remaining two assailants gasped.

“Have you made your choice?” the Inquisitor asked them.

“P-please spare me, my lady. We were just doing what we were paid to!”

“It’s a tough world to make a living in. I understand.”

“Then—”

“But just like I understand your situation, you must understand mine! Please tell me why you attacked us. In return, I’ll spare you. I think I’m being reasonable here.”

The assailants hesitated.

𝘧𝑟𝑒𝑒𝘸𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝓁.𝘤𝘰𝓂

“Ah, it seems you can’t make up your mind. I understand! I’ll help you a little!”

“Um. What do you mean by help—”

“Why, torture, of course!” The Inquisitor was still grinning. “Pain is the proof that we’re alive. The desire to survive is strongest at the peak of pain. Now, I’ll help you maximize that desire.”

“P-please spare me!”

“Please don’t kill me!”

The heck. I intervened because I thought the rating would change to 19+ at this rate.

“Hold on.”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to do it that way. Just leave this to me.”

The Inquisitor looked puzzled. “Mr. Death King, are you good at torture too? Unless you’re quite good at it, I recommend leaving the interrogation to me. I’m a specialist.”

“No, we don’t have to torture them. And wipe your face, please.” I handed the Inquisitor a handkerchief and stood in front of the assailants.

The assailants sighed in relief—but, well, it was too early for that. I wasn’t merciful enough to forgive people who attacked me first.

“Guys, let me ask you something.” I sat down and looked them in the eyes.

“W-what is it?”

“You came in through the window when you attacked us earlier. The iron bars were cut too easily. Did you know we would be in here and cut the bars in advance?”

The assailants didn’t answer and just looked at each other. Even if they didn’t say anything, that didn’t mean I had no way to find out the answer. I could see what they were thinking.

Show me their character windows.

State of Mind:

I heard that a woman was going to be put in the storage room.

State of Mind:

Shit, they said she was an ordinary girl, but that was a lie!

As expected, the assailants knew we were going to come here.

“You yelled ‘It doesn’t matter if you kill the man! Just don’t hurt the woman!’ while attacking us. Were you trying to kidnap the lady here?” I asked them.

“Uh... Umm...”

The assailants blinked.

State of Mind:

The request was to kidnap the woman here.

State of Mind:

The client made it clear that we were not to hurt the woman. That’s why we brought more people than necessary.

I understood what was going on now.

I sighed and turned around. The Inquisitor was thoroughly wiping his face with the handkerchief. He was like a baby hamster munching on sunflower seeds.

“I have a feeling I know who the culprit is,” I said.

The Inquisitor’s ears perked up. “Oh, you already figured it out?”

“Yes, I did.” I nodded.

“I want to hear your deduction, Mr. Death King.” The Inquisitor’s eyes sparkled.

I nodded. “First of all,” I whispered, “the culprit is someone with enormous social influence. He hired four assassins to infiltrate the academy, which is impossible without knowing its security inside and out.”

“Oh, that makes sense! But would the culprit really need enormous social influence to do this? This isn’t the palace, so it seems relatively easy to figure out its security. Even someone with a moderate amount of social influence would be able to do it!”

“That’s a good point—still, there’s one more thing that’s suspicious. Do you remember what the villainess shouted when she chased us away earlier?”

The Inquisitor tucked his handkerchief into his sleeve while he pondered. “Yes, I remember. She said, ‘Get her and her butler out of my sight immediately.’ Why do you ask?”

“She didn’t say a word about locking us up nor did she mention a specific place. The villainess simply told the servants to get us out of the ballroom, but these assailants knew we would be locked up and where. And they cut the window bars in advance. The servants who brought us to this storage room work for the villainess.”

“Oh...” The Inquisitor’s eyes narrowed like a snake’s. “Indeed, the villainess could have been the one who hired the assailants. All she had to do was to instruct her servants where to lock us up in advance and tell the assailants about the place. Haha. She’s the duke’s daughter, so she probably has plenty of power.”

“Yes, but...”

“But it’s too obvious.” The Inquisitor stroked his chin. “I’m the protagonist of this world and a noble lady who has something romantic going on with the crown prince. But the villainess chases me out and attacks me in the place she tossed me? Even if she’s the duke’s daughter, that would cause a huge scandal! It’s a bad move with too much political risk.”

The Inquisitor was indeed smart. He caught onto these kinds of things quickly.

I nodded. “In other words, the villainess isn’t the culprit. The person who wants to make it look like she is the real culprit.”

“I agree!”

“And this real culprit cares about you, the female lead, so much that he tells the assailants to never hurt the woman. He doesn’t care if the male butler, me, dies or not. Lastly, he has enough power to bribe the duke’s servants.”

“Ahaha.” The Inquisitor smiled. “I’m also starting to see who the real culprit is!”

“You and I are probably thinking of the same person.”

“Hmm. I don’t know what love feels like, but I’m aware of what people in love act like! If the real culprit really values me, like you guessed, he wouldn’t really hand me over to these people.”

“You’re right.” I nodded. “He’ll be waiting nearby, so he can rush in at any time.”

Right then, the storage room’s old door broke. A group of knights poured in through the resultant cloud of dust. At that very front was a man who looked like he would have never touched a room like this.

The man ran over and hugged the Inquisitor tightly, his blond, ramen-like hair swaying. Although he wasn’t a match for the Inquisitor, the man was handsome too. His handsome level was 0.6 of the Inquisitor.

“Oh, heavens! You’re covered in blood! I had a bad feeling after I heard that you were kicked out of the ballroom, so I came here... How dare someone do such a vicious thing...!”

And his psychopath level would probably also be around 0.6 that of the Inquisitor.

“All of you, arrest those suspicious men quickly!” the man ordered without batting an eye. “I will personally interrogate them and find out who is behind them! I don’t know which family did it, but I won’t forgive them even if they are the founding families of the empire!”

“Yes, Your Highness!” the knights answered in unison.

“Sylvia, don’t worry. I’ll protect you. No matter what vicious measures the duke’s daughter uses, I will protect you. You only need to rely on me, the sole successor of the empire...”

That was right. The crown prince, who loved the Inquisitor, was the male lead in the

Story of Sormwin Academy.