Chapter 48: How To Deal With The World (2)

The Guardian was equal parts psychopath and geezer. This golden ratio made ninety-nine percent of his advice crazy or useless. In other words, the remaining one percent contained the essence of both a psychopath and a geezer.

—When you wield a sword, what matters isn’t just your skill. It’s faith and confidence! Faith in yourself is the most important!

the Guardian declared with a solemn look.

Lying works the same way! In order to fool someone, you have to deceive yourself first! Believe your lies! Have confidence! No matter how plausible the lie sounds, people won’t believe it if you lie without confidence. But if you have confidence, it doesn’t matter how implausible it is.

Is that so?

I asked.

—I did it a lot, so I know!

He truly was speaking from experience. Maybe his ratio of psychopath to geezer was six to four.

—You and other people won’t believe a one hundred percent lie, of course. So mix ten percent truth with ninety percent lies!

Mix them?

—Yeah, that’s the beauty of lying. When you believe the ten percent truth, the ninety percent lie will come to you naturally! Remember, Zombie: lying is confidence!

I let his words sink in as I looked in front of me. The army assembled from around the world was here to capture the Demon King... The Aegim Empire’s troops, the vanguard of the army, were looking at me. I was going to be in danger if I couldn’t pull off my lie.

“The Great First Emperor’s herald...”

“But that sword is certainly...”

“Why is the herald here?”

Even though those from the Aegim Empire kept their heads down, some of the soldiers from the other factions were shooting skeptical glances at me. I assumed that the holy protector sword’s effectiveness was limited to those from the empire.

“U-umm, Sir...? Can this ignorant descendant ask you a question?” Sarbas Aegim, the leader of the imperial contingent asked. He watched my reaction carefully.

“What is your question?”

“Like I told you earlier, the reason why we’re here today is to subjugate the witch. Can I ask you what brought you here today...?”

I briefly closed my eyes.

Lying is confidence.

With that thought in mind, I shouted, “I have already subjugated the witch!”

My aura-infused voice startled Sarbas Aegim.

“I-I’m sorry? What do you mean...?”

“Look over here!” I stepped aside, revealing Preta, who had been standing behind me.

Perhaps they had already done some investigations on Estelle’s appearance because some people immediately recognized her.

“I-it’s Estelle!”

“It’s the Witch of the West!”

“I’ve seen her before! That woman is the witch!”

“Burn the witch!”

Preta whimpered and stumbled backward. However, I paid no attention to her reaction.

“Preta.”

“Yes...?”

“Come and kneel in front of them,” I sternly commanded.

Preta, who was now one of my monsters, had no ability to fight my orders. She staggered forward and kneeled, but I wasn’t done.

“Bow.”

She did just that.

“Place your hands on the ground.”

Her hands trembled as she followed my order. Was it anger or humiliation in her eyes? Her cheeks pinched—it seemed she was biting both the inside of her cheeks and her tongue. A little trickle of blood dripped out from her mouth and flowed down her chin.

“Put your head on the ground.”

Preta carried out my order with a grunt. The soldiers watched the former Demon King ramming her head on the ground with bated breaths. Preta quietly huffed and puffed with indignation, yet she obeyed my commands in order to protect her small paradise. In some way, it was a sacred act.

“Now roll forward,” I solemnly commanded.

The acacia forest fell utterly silent for a moment.

“...Pardon?” Preta looked up at me, unable to believe her ears.

I frowned. “Did you not hear me?”

“Huh... Uhhh...?”

“Roll, now!”

Preta flinched and reluctantly placed her small hands on the ground again. Her blond hair, which was longer than she was tall, swept up the acacia blossoms on the ground. Even after she was done rolling, she had a look on her face that said she had no idea what was going on.

I nodded. “Stand on your hands.”

Preta turned and looked at me like I’d gone insane.

I didn’t even blink. “Get to it, right now!”

Preta gasped. She placed her trembling hands on the ground again and slowly tried to do a handstand, but she flopped over due to her lack of strength. Although she tried it again, she just looked like she was swimming on the ground. I ignored her noises of pain and her morose expression and sternly continued to issue orders.

“Do twenty jumping jacks!”

“Sit down and stand up ten times!”

“Once you’re done, ten push-ups!”

“I command you to do twenty sit-ups!”

“Plank for twenty seconds!”

After a minute of that, the former Demon King was completely exhausted and her eyes were teary.

“I-I can’t do it anymore, Master... I-I can’t lift a finger...”

I turned back to Sarbas Aegim. “Do you see now?”

His jaw was dragging on the ground. His soldiers and everyone else’s reactions were pretty much the same. People from the entire world were staring blankly at Preta’s rather childish slump.

“S-sir, what in the world...”

I tightened my core to suppress my nervous tremors.

“Like I said, I have already subjugated the witch. She won’t be able to disobey me in any way! Naturally, it’s also impossible for her to harm the people. All of you can be at ease when it comes to the witch!”

The soldiers buzzed chaotically, their reaction affecting their leaders.

“Umm... If you say so...”

Sarbas Aegim completely submitted himself to me after I showed him the holy sword, so he was eager to believe me. The other leaders, however, looked like they smelled bullshit.

The paladins’ stomped forward and shouted, “Hold on a second! What are you all doing? We’re here to subjugate the witch!”

“Well, the Great First Emperor’s herald told us that the witch is already subjugated—”

“How are we supposed to believe him!”

“H-how can you not believe him!” Sarbas huffed. “You’ve also seen... h-how the witch faithfully carried out all his orders!”

The holy sword was quite effective.

The paladin leader actually jumped up and down in frustration.

“That’s exactly why I’m doubtf— No, no. I mean, that young man’s sword is the only evidence that he’s the messenger sent by the First Imperial Majesty of the Great East! It’s merely a sword—”

“

M-merely a sword

?” Sarbas Aegim’s voice rose. “Merely a sword?! Oh my god. Are you questioning the authority of the holy protector sword? That holy sword is evidence that the goddess favors the empire!”

Realizing his mistake, the paladin leader toned his voice down. “General, calm down... What I was trying to say was just—”

“The Great First Emperor went out to the plains with that sword! He rode across the plains, left his footprints in every city, scaled the volcano, and went down the waterfall. He also crossed the forest and mountains! The sword was with him for every single moment! When he finally faced the ocean, he built the empire to guard the sun! All of your ancestors were with the Great First Emperor, so every one of you is indebted to him in a way! Yet you call it a

mere

sword!”

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about—”

“What

are

you talking about then?”

“H-His Holiness gave me a solemn order to subjugate the heretic witch... but one word from that young man and—”

“One word?” Sarbas boomed. “Are you putting an order from the Great First Emperor below that of a

mere

pope?”

Wow,

I thought as I watched the chaos unfold in front of me.

“W-what?” The paladin leader opened and closed his mouth in shock. It took exactly two seconds for his confusion to turn into fury. “Are you questioning the temple’s authority?!

“You doubted the holy protector sword first!”

“Fine! I get it! I guess your Third Prince doesn’t need His Holiness’s support!”

“

Hah!

Who cares? The Great First Emperor’s herald is here and he has subjugated the witch. This is evidence that the goddess still watches over the empire, so who cares!”

“Is that how the Third Prince’s faction wants to do it?”

The quarrel between Sarbas Aegim of the empire and the paladin leader from the temple was getting intense. I had to suppress a smile.

This is perfect.

When many groups were brought together, there was one thing that everyone had to watch out for: if a conflict were to rise between them, it was an express highway to disaster.

I really don’t have to look far for an example.

When the Hunters had arrived on the twelfth floor, there were no less than eight different factions. The Sword Star and I could be counted as one faction each, and there were five from each of the Five Guild leaders. Lastly, the Rank 8, 9, and 10 champions made up one small faction.

We had banded together for the goal of clearing the Tower, but our unity had never been unbreakable. We had grudges and lingering doubts, which had ultimately led us to destruction right after the Demon King had offered her reward.

I recalled what the hologram of the “goddess” had said when the eleventh floor was opened.

[Warriors.]

[While climbing up the Tower, your faith will be tested from the eleventh to the twentieth floor.]

I had to hold back myself from grinning.

The residents of the Tower should also go through the trial of faith.

Otherwise, it wasn’t fair.

***

After those from the empire and temple entered the trial of faith, the other factions quickly interrupted.

“

Phew.

People, it isn’t the time for this,” a captain of the elven rangers admonished. “We need a more sure way to verify that the witch is actually under that man’s control. I know all of you are foolish humans, but there is time and place to show your idiocy.”

I had no idea if he was trying to stop the fight or make it worse. Regardless, he certainly wasn’t helping.

“If I may add, aren’t you contradicting yourself? The Great First Emperor’s holy protector sword was given to him by the Goddess of Protection, whom the temple worships. Doubting the holy sword means questioning the goddess’s authority, I believe. Maybe your short lifespan makes you humans foolish ...” The elf gave both the paladin and Sarbas a disparaging look.

“What? Is that how elves think of us?”

“This is why those long-ears can’t be trusted!”

The elf ranger captain had only made things worse.

“What are you people from the temple and the empire doing? We are here to keep vows, so why would you waste our time by quarreling!” the dragon leader from the Primordial Volcano burst out. “Fight like warriors! Are your weapons for decoration?”

They were just simpletons...like the Viper, the OJP Sect leader.

“The Free City Alliance believes that both the Imperial Sword and the Temple Hammer are right. However, it is always possible for someone else to impart more wisdom. The alliance is open to hear from them.”

“You farming losers... Anyhow, when can we rob the village? You said we can—that’s why we came,” an armed merchant asked, his greed unashamedly bared.

The female leader of the nomads silently grumbled as she tended to the horses.

“U-um, people. People... the witch’s den is right in front of us...”

𝘧𝑟𝑒𝑒𝘸𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝓁.𝘤𝘰𝓂

Only the lords from small countries were getting anxious. Their land was the closest to Preta’s paradise, so they were desperate to suppress the village before its fever spread to their land.

The “unified” army was a powder keg right now. In contrast, the Sword Emperor and I were relaxing.

—Man, I’m starting to understand why Preta stirred up a fight between the Hunters. It’s fun to turn people against each other!

The Guardian crossed his arms and nodded enthusiastically.

I know, right?

It was honestly pretty funny. However, not all of them were a lost cause.

“

Phew.

People, step aside please!” A lizardfolk wizard from the Mermaid Fall came forward.

“I believe the matter at hand is ultimately simple.” The lizardfolk wizard pointed a webbed finger at me. “We just need to verify three facts: is the young man really the Great First Emperor’s messenger, and is the woman actually the witch? If both are true, all that’s left is to determine whether or not he actually managed to control her.”

She was like the Paladin, the Watchmen League’s assistant leader, trying to mediate the situation so she and the others wouldn’t spiral into chaos and destruction.

Tired after quarreling with Sarbas Aegim, the paladin leader scrunched up his face. “So how in the world are we supposed to do that?”

“Don’t worry. I have my ways.” The lizardfolk wizard put her webbed hand in her pocket and pulled out a blue gem that seemed to be made from the ocean depths. “This is the Soul Gem bestowed by the Mermaid Queen.”

The lizardfolk wizard looked very serious. She sounded like she was showing everyone a treasure so precious that they’d used up a lifetime of luck to lay eyes on it.

“Using the gem and a drop of blood, we can tell what kind of soul he carries. The gem will shine bright white if his soul is kind, but black if his soul is evil.”

The Guardian and I leisurely examined the gem.

Hmm. So it’s similar to the Paladin’s Lie Detector and the Sword Star’s Detective Eyes.

—Looks like it. Beastfolk are good at inventing a mix of everything.

The description was quite fancy. It was from the Mermaid Queen and so on... but to us, there was nothing new about it.

With no idea what we were thinking, the lizardfolk wizard was confident.

“Now! You said that the woman is the Outskirt Witch and that you are the Great First Emperor’s messenger. If it’s true, accept the trial!” The lizardfolk wizard held up the gem. “The gem will prove all your good and evil deeds!”

I nodded obligingly. “Alright. Test me all you want.”

“Don’t regret it. As I told you, the gem will expose your entire soul.”

“You’ll just keep wagging your forked tongue, won’t you?[1] Are you worried it isn’t going to work?”

“I pray that your confidence isn’t a bluff.” The lizardfolk wizard’s eyes narrowed. “First, I’ll test that woman’s soul.”

She strode toward me and Preta and snatched Preta’s wrist. The lizardfolk wizard then scratched Preta’s palm using her sharp fingernail. When she saw her palm bleed, Preta quietly gasped and jerked slightly. One slow drop at a time, her dark red blood was absorbed into the Mermaid Queen’s gem.

The gem instantly turned black.

“No!”

“Oh my!”

The leaders were horrified. The gem was dyed no ordinary black—the color resembled a seething, slithering abyss.

Even the wizard performing the test swallowed nervously. “I can’t believe it...! Your soul is so evil. How many evil deeds have you committed...? Such a color shouldn’t come from someone of this world. She is indeed cursed... She is the witch!” the lizardfolk wizard shrieked.

She quickly let go of Preta’s wrist like it was trash. Her eyes overflowed with disgust and fear.

“No, calling her a witch is an understatement. I’m sure that she’s a demon king!” the wizard shouted.

Preta’s back hunched a little more.

The lizardfolk’s conviction sent a charge through the army. Their low murmurings faded out and the leaders stopped quarreling among themselves. They turned and gave Preta frightening glares. Preta shuffled behind me, her back hunched.

“It’s your turn now.” The lizardfolk wizard held up her long fingernail.

All eyes were on me, naturally.

“Self-proclaimed herald of the Great First emperor, are you ready?”

I nodded. “I’m always ready.”

“Bluffing is pointless... Give me your hand, please.”

I gave her my left hand and the lizardfolk wizard used her sharp fingernail to open a cut that looked like a gill. My blood quietly fell onto the pitch-black gem.

“Hmm...?” The lizardfolk wizard tilted her head.

And there was light.

“H-huh...?”

At first, it was a flicker of white. Then they amassed and got brighter until every trace of darkness was erased from the gem. After a while, it burst into light.

The acacia forest instantly brightened. Small cries of surprise arose from here and there as the soldiers shut their eyes and the leaders covered their faces with their hands.

“H-how...” The lizardfolk lowered her hand, her mouth opening and closing dumbly. “Wait, what in the world? Your soul is...”

“What in the world is going on!?” the paladin leader yelled. “The Mermaid Queen’s Waterdrop! Why would the gem shine like this?”

“His soul...” the lizardfolk wizard mumbled without even giving a glance at the paladin leader. “How many lives did he save for it to be so white...! This is... This is...!

Ahhh...!

He’s light...!”

Yes, I was light.

1. The raw is ??? ???? ???? ???(Your tongue is already forked, but it’s also long.) The expression “You have a long tongue” is a Korean slang that means you sound like a conman and have something to hide. ☜