Chapter 110: The Way She Loves (2)

Raviel Ivansia leaned in, bringing the man closer to death and carving her eternal scar into him. The man groaned and writhed in pain as her rapier dug deeper and deeper into his heart. His screams tore through the air, but no one was around to hear them.

I don’t want to kill him.

Raviel bit her lip.

I don’t want to lose him.

Going against her wishes, she pushed the rapier even deeper. She felt every moment vividly. First, she split his chest open. Reaching deeper into his flesh, she then pierced her heart, unleashing an endless stream of blood. All of it scarred her.

More. Deeper. She engraved every moment in her heart so that the man she loved could see this trauma.

When he was about to vomit blood, Raviel stole his lips to avoid losing even a single drop of his warmth. His sticky, bloody breath traveled from his heart into her mouth.

The dying man turned pale, and his quivers grew weaker. Finally, his breaths faded away. Through it all, Raviel didn’t blink. Even though every moment pained her, she didn’t want to miss any of them.

She wanted to scream at the world. What if this moment wasn’t engraved as her trauma? What if her plan fell through? Then she would forget him, and he would lose her. Nothing would be left.

Raviel was scared. She didn’t want to lose him.

More.

To be afraid of something was a disgrace and an insult to someone like her. Nevertheless, she kept reliving the terrifying, horrible moment, carving her scar deeper.

He could fail to persuade the Tower. Perhaps she would forget about him and live on like before and when they crossed paths in the hallway, they would end up just passing each other indifferently.

She held those imagined moments in her mind and carved new scars around them, marking them forever.

Raviel realized that the man had died. She understood that this moment was like a last gasp before he regressed. He would likely regress in just a few seconds, bringing her back in time with him. It was only a few seconds, yet it felt like an eternity to her.

“Gong-Ja,” she slowly said.

There was no answer. His eyes lost focus, and his mouth stopped moving as if he had forgotten how to speak.

“Gong-Ja.”

Raviel knew then that this last moment had become her inerasable trauma. Everything became clear. She had never been scarred as terribly as this. She pulled him into her arms, spending the few remaining seconds holding him.

I believe in you.

[The trauma recreation has been completed.]

You believe in me just as I believe in you, Gong-Ja.

[It has been confirmed that the ego of the subject under the Skill penalty is intact.]

That’s why we can wait for each other.

[Ending the Skill penalty.]

That’s how it’s always been.

[Your immersion level has dropped to 98%.]

***

It was strangely hard to open my eyes today.

“Butler?” Lady Goldencup, who was sitting across from me, was shocked.

It was strange. She always had a glowing smile, but she looked hazy today.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Pardon?”

“You’re crying.”

Only then did I notice the tears. It shocked me. Just a moment ago, Lady Goldencup and I were idly chatting. Then I blinked, and tears suddenly flowed down my face.

“Huh...?” I couldn’t stop the tears.

“B-Butler? I don’t get scared easily, but you’re frightening me a little right now. We were just talking, so why are you crying all of a sudden? Did I do something weird again?”

“Um... I... I don’t really know why either.”

“You’re crying for no reason? Did you go crazy?

Gasp.

You’re crying your eyes out... What should I do? This is the first time you’ve cried like this since I beat you up when you were five...”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you? My lady, it’s about time you forget about it.”

“But, Butler, even if I forget about it, I also beat you up when you were six, seven, and every year until you were fourteen. In fact, I still beat you from time to time. If I forget all that, I’m no different from an amnesiac. Why, your life was practically just a series of beatings.”

Amnesia...

“Eh? Why are you crying again? I’m sorry! I’m sorry for beating you up! I won’t beat you anymore. Even if I do, I’ll do it in a less humiliating way. Are you feeling better now?”

“I think I had a nightmare, my lady...”

“Huh? A nightmare? Did a monster get me and tear me into pieces?”

“No, a woman was looking at me, crying... I wanted to wipe her tears away, but I couldn’t. It was very sad.”

“I see.” Lady Goldencup looked like she’d realized something. “The woman was me.”

“It was definitely not you... There is no way you can make such a sad and elegant expression. You just weren’t born that way.”

“Ah.” Lady Goldencup glared at me. “Should I just hit you?”

Normally, I would have bowed and said sorry, and she would have responded with “I’m a generous person, so I’ll forgive you.”

This time, however, I stood up from my chair.

“Butler?”

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Huh? It’s already late. Where are you going? I was going to brag about the dinner I’m going to have with His Highness tomorrow. Listening to my exciting news is your duty.”

I bowed. “I’m sorry, my lady, but there’s somewhere I have to go.”

Lady Goldencup rested her arms on the back of her chair and narrowed her eyes at me. “Yes, you have a brain, so you can think for yourself. But don’t come back empty-handed. You’d better steal a muffin from the cafeteria at least.”

“The crown prince will give you an azure coral ring tomorrow.”

Lady Goldencup blinked. “What?”

“I’ll get going.” I walked out of her room.

“Butler!” she shouted behind me. “Are you serious?”

I ignored her.

“Hold on, answer me before you go! Butler, you f—!”

My master.

Since coming to Sormwin Academy, she had become much more well-behaved, but at heart, she was still the king of the hill who used to beat up kids back home.

I hastened my steps. It was my first time walking this path, but my feet moved with an easy familiarity.

It’s like I’ve done this before.

The gate to Lady Silver Lily’s villa was open, and no guards were posted. I should have found it strange, but I already had a feeling that this was how it would be. I crossed the garden without hesitation.

I arrived at a hallway where only a single ray of moonlight reached. Lady Silver Lily was standing at the end of the hallway with a full-length mirror behind her.

“You’re here.”

“... Have you been waiting for me?”

“Yes, today is my second time.”

Her answer to my abrupt question seemed random. This whole conversation was incomprehensible, but that seemed to soften the night air.

Lady Silver Lily smiled. “Look into the mirror. What do you see?”

■■: ■■■

■■■: ■■

■■ ■■: Mu■, ■■ce, ■■, ■■

■■ ■■: ■■

■■ ■■■: Teacher, lover, ■■■ ■■, ■■■, ■■■, ■■ren, ■■, ■■■ ■■■ ■ ■■ ■, ■■■■ ■■■■ ■, ■■ ■■■■ ■

“... I see the words ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lover.’ I think I see some letters, but I can’t understand what they mean.”

“Call me.”

“M—”

I tried to call her “my lord,” but I stopped, even though that was the most respectful way to address Raviel Ivansia.

“And I warn you. Never call me ‘my lord’ with that mouth again. I’ll cut out your heart.”

A conversation I’d never had came to my mind. It was as if I was peering into a dream from my past life. I was confused; I felt like I shouldn’t call her “my lord” no matter what happened.

“... My lady.”

“That’s much better.” Lady Silver Lily approached me.

“What did you dream about?”

Her red eyes bore into me. Her mouth was closed, yet I felt as if she was speaking to me. Her closed mouth seemed to be moving. It was too vivid to be a hallucination or a voice in my head.

“You... were crying.”

“And?”

“You kept calling for someone. A man was tied up in front of you... I think he was the person you were calling for, but I don’t remember his name.”

“What else?”

“You were in agony as you stabbed the man with a rapier.”

Why did I keep talking to someone who wasn’t saying a word? Why was Lady Silver Lily listening to me too? It was so strange, but the strangest part was that it didn’t feel awkward.

Lady Silver Lily patted my head. “Very good.”

Her words echoed in my ears and slowly settled in my heart. I felt as if I had heard them somewhere—a very long time ago before I was even born.

The image of a blue perfume bottle flashed through my mind.

“Look.” Lady Silver Lily took out a card.

“... What is it?”

“It's proof that you worked hard for me. You can be proud of it.”

The golden card had a great deal of writing on it.

A Certain Returner’s Love

Class: EX

Effect: Love is like poison to a returner. No matter how hard you struggle, you cannot share the same time with the one you love, so a certain returner made a wish. “Please protect my lover’s memories.” The wish reached the Tower and came true.

You share your lover’s time. When your lover goes back a day, you also go back a day. If you go back a day, your lover will also go back a day.

This is the oath of eternal regression and marriage of time.

May luck be with you both.

※It is only active when you and your lover love each other.

𝐟𝗿𝐞𝚎𝚠𝐞𝚋𝕟𝐨𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝕔𝕠𝚖

I was speechless for no reason I could explain.

“‘Please protect my lover’s memory.’” Lady Silver Lily laughed softly. “I don’t like this kind of proposal. I like the sound of your voice. Do you understand what I’m getting at? I’ll pretend I didn’t see this unless you tell me yourself. So come back, quickly.”

My heart thumped.

“I’ll kill you as many times as it takes. If showing you my scar will bring you back to me, I’ll do it over and over until you come back.”

“Miss...”

“So look at my scar and suffer. Look at it again. It has traces of you.” Lady Silver Lily stretched out her hands and grabbed my neck. “Know that you’re the only one in this world who can kill me.”

Her hands were soft.

“And I’m the only one who can kill you.”

And then I saw it.

[You have died.]

[Recreating your killer's trauma.]

I saw it over and over.

[Your immersion level has dropped to 97%.]

I watched Lady Silver Lily’s weep. She killed a certain man again and again. Every time I went back a day, I lived in her dream.

[You have died.]

[Your immersion level has dropped to 96%.]

We loved each other in our past lives.

[You have died.]

[Your immersion level has dropped to 95%.]

We were going to love each other in this life too—maybe even in the next life.

[Your immersion level has dropped to 94%.]

[Your immersion level has dropped to 93%.]

[Your immersion level has dropped to 92%.]

I hurt her. She cried silently where I couldn't see and when I wasn’t with her. If I remembered all of those...

[Your immersion level has dropped to 91%.]

We can love forever.

[Your immersion level has dropped to 90%.]

Again and again and again, I went to her. I opened the door, crossed the garden, and ran down the hallway.

She had been born as the daughter of the Duke of Ivansia. Having a sad mother put her in a sad life. Her fiance had been chosen before she had been born, and she had devoted her life to him since she first drew breath.

She was a white flower. She was the moon of Ivansia and the heir apparent of the duchy. For a brief period, she used to be known as the young lady of Ivansia too.

“You’re here.”

She was standing in the dark hallway like a lonely island in the middle of an endless sea of night. I could hear the waves lapping at her feet. To me, she wasn’t the heir apparent of the Duke of Ivansia nor the duke’s daughter.

“Raviel.”

The white flower smiled. “I’ve been waiting for you, Gong-Ja.”

I’m in love with you.