Chapter 5 – The “Nonsuch” Fatty

Translated by Selutu

Edited by Khuja

“So expensive?” Fatty muttered as he looked at the small red and blue pots in the alchemy shop. F*ck, it actually costs ten bronze coins per bottle. Lord Fatty fought so hard for so long, and I barely have thirty bronze coins in my pocket. That means I can only buy two pots at most.

“Expensive? Kid, you get what you pay for. Don’t you know that your life is very important? Do you want your money or your life?” the shopkeeper leaned back on a rocking chair and glanced at the fatty with disdain.

“F*ck, of course Lord Fatty wants money. Just how much is a life worth anyways?” Fatty said shamelessly.

Hearing that, the shopkeeper choked and nearly fell off his chair.

“Wow, you really are something. You’d rather take money instead of your life. I’m speechless,” the shopkeeper raised his eyebrows. “I have a mission that I can issue, do you want to accept it? If you accept it, then I can gift a few red pots to you first.”

“Mission? Yeah, of course I’m accepting it,” Fatty did remember that missions were important in games, and that missions were often the quickest way to levelling up. Thus, the moment he heard that there was a mission, which even came with red pots, he was unable to stand still anymore.

“Ugh, aren’t you going to ask me about the mission details first to see whether you can complete it?” the shopkeeper was truly speechless.

“Who cares what the mission is about, I’ll accept it first. Since I’m being gifted some red pots first, then whether I can complete it or not is a matter for a later time. Hurry up and tell me the mission details,” Fatty hurried. After all, time is money.

The shopkeeper raised his thumb, then stopped commenting on Fatty’s actions.

“I’m trying to make a potion here, and I’m missing an ingredient. Go and harvest some for me,” the shopkeeper returned to normal and said slowly.

Ding.

System Notification: Would you like to accept the mission “Herb Harvesting”?

The system rang out beside Fatty’s ear.

Fatty naturally chose to accept without any hesitation.

Ding.

System Notification: You have accepted the mission “Herb Harvesting”.

Objective: Collect 20 White Cogon Roots in three days. Failing to do so in the allocated time will cause your level to drop by 1.

F*ck, I accepted it just like that? And my level will drop by 1 if I fail to complete it? Do you seriously think that you can level up so easily!? Fatty thought angrily.

“What’s the reward?” Fatty asked with a clench of his teeth.

“The reward is the aforementioned five red pots. After completion, you can get a ten percent discount when buying potions here. Additionally, you will also receive 100 Experience, and 10 Reputation,” the shopkeeper didn’t want to say anything more, and merely wished for the extreme money-lover to leave quickly.

“Only ten percent off? Also, five red pots is way too little, give me at least ten. You have no idea how dangerous the outside world is, even a small hen can peck you to death. What’s more, I can’t even leave the village with my collection of trash equipment, no matter what, you should sponsor me a little. Also...” Fatty blabbered.

“Stop, stop!” the shopkeeper sweated. “This is just a small shop, I don’t...”

“You call this a small shop? Look at this. Look at this! Even a single red pot is so expensive. What’s more, you have a monopoly here, so you’re definitely loaded,” Fatty interrupted the alchemy shop shopkeeper, then took his around the stall once before pointing at the potions.

“What do you want?” At that moment, the shopkeeper was extremely regretting speaking a bit more with the money lover. If I knew this would happen, then I shouldn’t even have responded.

“Ten potions, five red and five blue. Make sure they’re the large ones,” Fatty reached out his hand and drew out the potions in midair.

“Fine,” the shopkeeper lowered his head dejectedly.

“Twenty percent off potions.”

“Fine,” you’re never coming back to the Beginner’s Village after level 10 anyways.

“Gift me a set of equipment.”

“What? A set? This is an alchemy shop, not an equipment shop,” the shopkeeper roared.

“Not even a set? Then a few pieces should be fine, right? Say... A piece of clothing, a pair of boots, along with a helmet, a pair of armguards, a set of legguards, and a weapon...”

“You done yet? Don’t be so outrageous,” the shopkeeper was about to die. “Are you accepting the mission or not? If you don’t, then screw off. You ain’t getting a bronze off me!”

“Fine, fine, then that’s it. I’ll accept the mission. You’re so stingy, and you’re supposed to be a big boss,” Fatty muttered, then put away the ten potions given to him very swiftly.

“The specific herb is White Cogon Root, it is a necessary ingredient in making Hemostatic Potions. Go and harvest two hundred for me,” the shopkeeper only needed twenty, but due to Fatty making him give up so much, he immediately multiplied the amount by ten in his anger.

“Where should I go to harvest it?” Two hundred? No problem. However, that was merely because Fatty did not notice that the 20 in his mission objective had already turned into 200.

“Go out of the village, and turn towards the east, where you’ll see a forest. You can harvest the grass there,” the shopkeeper waved his hand lethargically. “Anything else? If not, then go and harvest.”

“But... I can’t recognize the herb,” Fatty said in a troubled manner.

“Ugh,” the shopkeeper truly felt like he was about to cough up blood.

“Did you choose your secondary profession yet? If you didn’t, then learn alchemy. I’ll teach you,” at that very moment, the shopkeeper truly wished that the damned player in front of him would just disappear. Ahhh, God, Buddha, Allah, Brahman please save me. The alchemy shop shopkeeper wailed in his mind.

“No, I want to learn smithing and how to craft weapons,” Fatty shook his head.

“You?” the alchemy shop shopkeeper’s hand trembled as he pointed out the door. “Scram. Immediately scram!”

“But you still didn’t teach me how to recognize the cogon roots?” Fatty blinked with innocent eyes.

“I’m not issuing the mission anymore,” the alchemy shop shopkeeper made up his mind. Fine, I’ll just harvest it myself.

“But... I’ve already accepted it. If I fail to accomplish the mission due to your meddling, then the system will punish you,” Fatty acted as if he was truly thinking of the shopkeeper.

“Come here, I’ll teach you Appraisal and Harvest,” the shopkeeper beckoned dejectedly, and sent two rays of white light towards Fatty.

Ding.

System Notification: Congratulations, you have learned Appraisal. It can allow you to see the target’s stats. However, the target cannot exceed your level by 10. Current Mastery Level: Novice 0/100.

Ding.

System Notification: Congratulations, you have learnt Harvest. Current Mastery Level: Novice 0/100.

“Only these two? Nothing else?” Fatty was still not satisfied.

“No more, I really have nothing else,” the shopkeeper wanted to cry.

“Alright, then I’ll leave. Bye bye,” Fatty waved his hand, then directly left.

“My god, how can there be a player like this in the world!? Why don’t you just thunderbolt him to death!?” the alchemy shop shopkeeper wailed as asked the heavens speechlessly.

The terrible wail completely shocked the passing players.

Thus, a rumor of Beginner’s Village Number 1044239 being haunted begun to spread, and a powerful exorcist could come and capture the ghost for a high reward...

“So stingy, he actually didn’t teach me Alchemy,” Fatty muttered to himself as he wandered towards the Blacksmith’s.

“Hey, little brother, what do you need? Take a look, I have the best weapons in the entire village. Look at this dagger, it’s so beautiful, it’s perfectly streamlined and the two blood grooves on the side can allow it to let out lots of blood when pierced into your enemies’ bodies. It is extremely suitable for a handsome rogue like yourself,” the blacksmith pulled Fatty’s hand as he held the dagger in his other and introduced it.

“Alright shopkeeper, stop wasting time,” Fatty struggled out of the blacksmith’s grasp. “I came to learn blacksmithing.”

“What? You? Stop kidding me. Blacksmithing is the most honorable career in this world. How could I teach a puny rogue like yourself?” the blacksmith’s expression immediately changed when he heard Fatty’s intentions.

“What do you mean? Lord Fatty can’t take up an honorable career?” Fatty changed even more quickly than the blacksmith. He immediately snatched over the dagger and prodded it against the blacksmith’s waist, as if he would stab the blacksmith the moment the latter said something wrong.

“Hey, little brother, don’t act impulsively, just don’t be impulsive,” the blacksmith immediately gave up. “Blacksmithing is a tiring job. How could an honorable rogue like yourself do something so tiring?”

“I like the sound of your words,” Fatty retracted his dagger, twirled it around in his hands and put it into his pocket. “Don’t underestimate Lord Fatty. I’m telling you, although Lord Fatty is a rogue, my basic stats are maxed.”

“Maxed stats?” the blacksmith opened his eyes wide. “Then why didn’t you choose to be a mage? Mage is such an honorable class. A warrior is fine too, why a rogue?”

“F*ck, I like being a rogue, so what? Are you going to teach me or not?” Fatty was angry. Just how much money (time) did I waste already!?

“I understand,” the blacksmith suddenly smiled obscenely. “To be honest, getting rich silently is the way to go.”

“Oh, we’re the same kinda people,” Fatty smiled as well, then held the blacksmith’s hands intimately. “Since we’re the same, then let’s not talk about anything else and use some false tears. Give me a piece of equipment as a present.”

“F*ck, have you no face?” the blacksmith immediately pushed Fatty away.

“Face? What’s that? How much is it worth?” Fatty looked towards the blacksmith in a questioning manner.

“You truly are a piece of work,” the blacksmith said no more and immediately gave in. He waved his hand, causing a ray of white light to shine onto Fatty.

Hmm? Why do I feel so warm?

Beep. Player chose blacksmith as the secondary profession. Would you like to proceed?

Yes.

𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

Ding.

System Notification: Congratulations, you have learnt Mining. Current Mastery Level: Novice 0/100.

“Why is Mining the only skill? Where’s the Smithing skill?” Fatty asked in confusion.

“Mine out the ores, then give me ten pieces of metal ore. I’ll teach you how to forge it.”

“Here, as the first player to select Blacksmithing as your secondary profession from me, here is your reward.”

This blacksmith is truly smarter than the alchemy shop shopkeeper.

Fatty thought to himself as he received the small pickaxe the blacksmith held out.

Blacksmith’s Tool

Tool

Level Requirement: 0

ATK +1

Durability: 20/20

Profession Requirement: Blacksmith only.

Undroppable.

All of the other players were busy with levelling up, and only Fatty was bored enough to get a blacksmith profession.

“That’s all?” Fatty looked towards the blacksmith.

“That’s all,” the blacksmith waved his hand. “Work hard laddie. Blacksmithing is a great career.”

“Tsk,” Fatty twitched his mouth, then walked off.

...

Wait, why do I feel like I’m missing something?

A short while after Fatty left, the blacksmith felt something amiss. For some reason, he felt like something was missing. After a long time, he slapped his thighs and cursed, “ARGH, my new dagger! That damn rogue!”