Chapter 145 – The Coffee Shop

Translated by ALy

Edited by Canis, Cien, Dray

Fatty enjoyed a long and satisfying sleep. When he woke up the next day, it was already noon. He’d slept about ten hours.

“Ugh, that game’s rotting my mind,” Fatty groaned in contempt at himself as he climbed from under the blankets.

Taking care of his hygienic and nutritional needs, Fatty went to the nearby park and practiced his martial arts. In the blink of an eye, it was already a new season; time truly passed quickly. The weather was starting to get cold, and leaves had begun to fall.

After Fatty returned home, he turned on his computer to check Star Fantasia’s official website. A line in big letters caught his eye: “The top-rated guild in-game—Wind God Guild—has been officially established and is currently recruiting ambitious players to help develop the guild.”

Currently, most guilds were still in an illegitimate state. Without a Guild Establishment Token, they were a step away from being registered as officially established in the major cities; thus, the guilds were pretty much in a love-hate relationship with the token.

“Fatty, are you in-game now?” Surprisingly, Fatty received a call from Liu Lan.

“Not yet, what’s up?” asked Fatty.

“If you haven’t logged in yet, then come out and join me for a chat.” Liu Lan’s voice was filled with distress, which stunned Fatty. His impression of Liu Lan was of a woman renowned for her talent and persistent vigor. He had rarely seen her in such a state.

“Alright,” Fatty agreed after some hesitation.He changed into a random jacket before setting off to catch a cab. After two years at his job, Fatty had spent most of his savings on his little sister Xiaoqian, so he’d never thought to buy a car.

Liu Lan oddly didn’t ask to meet at the company, but in a coffee shop. Everyone coming in and out of the shop was impeccably dressed per the elite of society. Upon seeing Fatty enter, some customers revealed disdainful expressions.

“Fatty, over here!”

Lan was sitting elegantly at a window spot. All of the men in her vicinity, single or not, swept their gazes toward her from time to time (unintentionally or otherwise). Then, seeing that this beautiful woman was waiting for such a fatty, their faces turned resentful, and they muttered things like, “All good cabbages go to the pigs1.”

“So, what’s troubling our mighty general manager?” Fatty joked, ignoring the envious stares as he sat down in the seat across from Liu Lan. Instantly, the chair emitted a creak from being overburdened.

“Shit! What’s wrong with this place? Even the chairs are such low-quality!” Spotting mirth in Liu Lan's eyes, Fatty angrily scolded the chair.

“Pfffft!” Liu Lan burst out laughing. “Alright, stop with your nonsense! What are you ordering?”

“I’d like a cup of West Lake Longjing2, thank you,” said Fatty to the waitress.

The waitress stuttered, “M-Mister, this is a coffee shop, not a teahouse.”

“One Blue Mountain, no sugar, please,” Liu Lan told the waitress and rolled her eyes at Fatty.

“Very well. Please wait a moment,” the waitress said. She hurried away and quickly returned with freshly brewed coffee.

Fatty casually swallowed a mouthful of coffee. Although he was fond of tea culture, he had never fancied coffee. “What did you call me for?”

“I can’t invite you out for no reason?” Liu Lan glared at him and lightly swirled her teaspoon.

“I get this feeling something bad’s about to happen when you do,” Fatty mumbled. He chugged down his entire cup of coffee with one gulp. “Miss,” he called out to the waitress, “one more cup, please.”

“The game’s been wearing me out. I wanna go out and release some stress, but there wasn’t anyone suitable as company. Then, I thought of you. How’s that? Feel honored?” Liu Lan said, smirking.

“Nope,” Fatty curtly replied. “Do you know how much money I could have made during the time it takes to drink this cup of coffee?”

“You...! Hmph!” Liu Lan gritted her teeth. “One City Construction Token and one Guild Establishment Token earned you two hundred million; you still don’t feel that’s enough?”

“Of course not. A bottomless greed fuels humanity’s progress,” Fatty answered matter-of-factly.

“Whatever! I can never win an argument with you.” Liu Lan begrudgingly clenched her teeth and continued, “Xu Quan has been bothering me at the company, and now he’s doing the same in-game as well. At this rate, I’ll soon die from all of his pestering. I needed to see your pitiful face to fix my mood.”

As the waitress brought over his coffee, Fatty grabbed her arm and asked, “Is this Lord Fatty’s face really that pitiful?”

“Erm, not pitiful. Very honest,” the waitress replied and inadvertently jerked her hand away.

“Your eyes are very sharp, little sister.” Fatty nodded in satisfaction. The waitress resisted the urge to throw up in Fatty’s face and rushed away.

“Alright, don’t bully the girl.” Liu Lan was both antagonized and amused all at once. “Originally, I’d planned to invite you out for a meal; but you’re a rich person now, so you’re paying.”

“How am I a rich person? Compared to mighty General Manager Liu, I’m just poor as dirt really!” Fatty hastily cried.

“All you know how to do is wail.” With a chuckle, Liu Lan seemed to recall the past. “It really is hard to squeeze anything out of you. Forget it; the bill’s on me today.”

“Just this?” Fatty pointed at the coffee in front of him.

“What more do you want? This is worth a lot more than a meal,” Liu Lan said angrily.

“Forget it then. You can have this coffee. Give me the money, and I’ll go eat myself.” Fatty pushed the coffee in front of Liu Lan.

“Haah,” sighed Liu Lan, “you’re always crude like this.” She had no desire to argue with Fatty anymore.

Fatty straightened his back and gazed directly at Liu Lan. “You don’t seem right today.”

Liu Lan nodded her head in silence. She picked up the coffee and took a sip. “Work’s tiring. Even playing the game’s tiring. I seriously don’t know what I should do now.”

“That doesn’t match the typical impression I have of you.” Fatty shook his head.

“What exactly is your impression of me then?” Liu Lan was curious.

“Astute, very capable, bustling; can eat eight bowls of rice per meal and take down three big guys with a single punch; a thunderous roar that can shake an army of millions...” Fatty babbled.

“Stop, stop! I think you’re describing Zhang Fei3 and not me!” Liu Lan’s eyes were smiling.

“Oh, then I must have remembered it incorrectly. Let me try again: You...”

“Alright, don’t bother!” Liu Lan sipped her coffee. “I really miss those days when you were still in our company...”

“More like you miss those days when you could bully me,” whispered Fatty.

“What? You got a problem?!” Liu Lan’s brows sharply lifted.

“Grace! Remember your gracious bearing,” Fatty frantically urged.

“Screw grace! Gracious can go to hell with its grandma!” Liu Lan’s pitch reached a new high, drawing every eye in the coffee shop to their table. A few gentlemen exhibited painful expressions as the image of the goddess in their hearts completely crumbled.

“Hmm? Hah!” Liu Lan snorted, but said nothing else when she realized she’d lost her cool.

Fatty drank his coffee with a heavy mood. Meanwhile, his companion stretched out her two index fingers and held them up side by side, and she repeatedly made a series of gestures.

Irritated, Fatty asked, “What’re you doing?”

“Analyzing your bone structure. If you slim down, you’ll definitely make a handsome guy,” Liu Lan responded with certainty. “Why don’t you try losing weight?”

“You said it yourself: I’ll definitely be a handsome guy if I slim down. What would I do if all the pretty girls started fawning over me, hm?” Fatty said helplessly.

“Tsk. You become more and more shameless with time.” Liu Lan rolled her eyes.

“Thanks for your praise.” Fatty so elegantly expressed his gratitude, he rendered Liu Lan momentarily speechless.

Suddenly, Liu Lan asked, “Fatty, am I really that shrewish?”

“You want the truth or a lie?” Fatty stirred his coffee casually.

“Gimme the lie first, then the truth.”

“Lying? You’re really shrewish.”

“Then, the truth is I’m not?!” Liu Lan was delighted.

“Nope. The truth is you’re not really shrewish; you’re extremely shrewish,” Fatty ungallantly corrected.

“Qi...an...Fat...ty!” Liu Lan enunciated through gritted teeth.

“See, you’re being shrewish again. I’m not wrong, am I?” Fatty wasn’t scared at all.

“Ahem.” Liu Lan smoothed her outfit, then purred coyly, “Big Brother Fatty.”

Pffffff! A mouthful of coffee splashed onto Liu Lan. Fatty frantically pulled out some napkins. “Mighty General Manager, Mistress, I beg you to forgive me! Life has been hard on me and my fat already!”

“If being shrewish is no good, and being gentle isn’t good either, what do you want then?” Liu Lan appeared genuinely dejected.

Fatty was briefly speechless. “That’s what you call ‘gentle’?” He balked. “That’s just nauseating! Forget it! Just be your usual self. Don’t put on masks to please people; it’s exhausting that way.”

“Really? Then, what do you like about me?” Liu Lan asked hopefully.

“Huh? Why is this coffee so bitter? Did they use rotten coffee to cheat us?” Fatty looked around as if to call the waitress over.

“Damn Fatty! Don’t try to change the topic!” Liu Lan almost flared, but forcefully suppressed her rage. “Fatty, do you remember the first time you came with me to a negotiation?”

“Huh? Who’s that? So familiar... Crap, that’s Assistant General Manager Xu Quan! No wonder he looks so familiar.” Fatty gaped at the shop entrance.

Xu Quan walked over and elegantly said to Liu Lan, “Lil’ Sis Lan, why are you here drinking coffee by yourself? It can’t be interesting all alone. Remember to call me next time so we can go together,”

Da heck, what does that mean?! You don’t consider Lord Fatty a human being? Fatty was enraged. He stood up and tightly grabbed Liu Lan’s hand. “Lan’er, that’s enough coffee. Let’s take a walk.”

“Okay,” Liu Lan agreed, simply ignoring Xu Quan. As they left, she made extremely sure to “carelessly” allow Xu Quan to catch sight of the smug smile on her face.

Xu Quan growled under his breath, “Qian Ye!”

Grabbing Fatty’s arm, Liu Lan asked, “Darling, where should we go for our walk?” Fatty’s mouth twitched, and he felt goosebumps all over.

Xu Quan’s face was ashen. Because he was in public, he couldn’t loudly yell after them, considering it would hurt his image. In the end, he could only stand and watch as Fatty and Liu Lan left arm in arm.“Qian Ye, since you dare steal my woman, I’ll never let you off,” Xu Quan muttered to himself.

------

When the couple were outside the coffee shop, Liu Lan’s face was smug as she furtively swept a glance at Xu Quan leaving with haste. “Fatty, you were very brave today.”

“This is bad, very bad! I’ve offended him. Argh, beauty is calamity! How could I be so impulsive back there?” Fatty moaned and groaned.

“Regret it? Too late for that now.” Liu Lan gripped Fatty’s hand. “Come, take a walk with me.”

“I’m not going.” Fatty instantly tried to fling off her hand; however, her grip was too tight, and he didn’t dare use real force for fear of injuring her.

“Come on! It’s just a walk.”

Fatty unwillingly let Liu Lan drag him along. He complained on the way, but still followed her with head drooping.

“Fatty, do you still remember the first time we carried out a negotiation?”

“Don’t remember.”

“Try to recall, won’t you?”

“Can’t.”

“Just try.”

“...”

1. A very common Chinese saying when people see an unmatched couple.?

2. A green tea. One of the ten greatest teas in China.?

3. A historical figure extremely famous for his physical prowess, entitled as "a man who could fight against ten thousand".?