Chapter 1474. Continental War (54)

If one were to define my[1] life in a single word, it'd probably be the word "failure." It wasn’t self-loathing or putting myself down out of self-hatred. It was simply the plain truth. Perhaps any third-party out there would give a similar answer.

If one were to stop people walking down the street and ask them about my life, ten out of ten, a hundred out of a hundred... would surely say that I lived a failed life.

That was how far removed my life was from what people considered normal in society.

I couldn't really remember, but I felt like I was the same even as a child.

Even when bigger, stronger kids showed off and bullied me, I just thought it was natural because I was strange, lacking, small, different, stupid, and I didn’t have what they had.

I simply believed that was how things were supposed to be. Of course, sometimes I felt angry and furious at the unfairness of it, but I never dared to express it or speak it out loud. I had long realized that nothing would change anyway.

“

Haa... haa... hoo...

”

“...”

As time went on, I remembered becoming more and more numb to all of it. I had grown used to enduring life alone. Still, there was one way to cope. A small square box. At the very least, while I was lost in fantasies, I could forget everything.

In that world, I was the protagonist. Just projecting myself onto the characters in novels and comics and empathizing with them made me happy. I imagined punishing those who bullied me with superpowers like the characters in comics, and sometimes, I imagined flying through the sky.

I imagined going on grand adventures with companions or holding hands with a beautiful heroine. I believed that, someday, a miracle would happen to me too, and I was influenced by their words and ideals.

Thinking about it now, I dropped out of school because they influenced me.

"You can do anything and become anything."

This sentence that I read in some novel sank deep into my heart.

“I-I’m special.”

I didn't deserve to be hurt, and I could do anything. I had to cut away my former powerless self, and I had to protect myself. The spell that said I was special stirred a small breeze in my failed life. Of course, looking back now, it sometimes felt like nothing more than avoiding it, but to me, it felt like an enormous change.

Still, I didn’t feel entirely positive. The words that supported and protected me became something else. The line, "I could do anything and become anything," became my shield at some point.

I even mocked my friends who woke up in the morning, put on their uniforms, slung their bags over their shoulders, and headed to school.

I thought they were all living standardized lives, working hard at useless and meaningless things. I laughed at the lives of those studying for the future, going to college, and getting a job. I swore I would never live like that and treated them like fools, but in truth, I didn’t go to school, and I didn’t really do anything either.

I remained trapped inside that small box.

Even while believing I was special, I was afraid that the moment I stepped outside, I would realize that it was all a lie.

Time went on just like that, and then one day, I was chosen by God.

I was appointed as a hero.

[The tutorial will now begin.]

[You are a hero chosen by God. Follow the guideposts and quests and save this continent from the threats it faces with the aid of the Holy Sword. The continent will spare no support or effort for your growth.]

[You are the hero chosen by God and by the continent.]

“...”

“...”

[Please play the game with a sense of responsibility.]

It was the happiest moment of my life. Of course, I had no lingering attachment to Earth, where I had neither friends nor family. At first, I wondered whether it was all just a dream, but wasn’t it only natural to doubt it?

Something that only happened in comics—no, something I had always longed for in my fantasies, was actually happening to me. I didn’t even feel fear. I even thought my time had finally come because—

“I-I was someone special.”

—I was special.

‘Because I could do anything and become anything.’

I was the protagonist of this world.

“

Hoo... hoo... yaaaah!

”

Kabooooooooom!

“Come at me, damn it!”

Bang!

“

Heuk... yaaaah!

”

“...”

Bang! Bang! Kabooooom!

There was no sense of reality at all. I thought that everything happening to me was just like a game. This was definitely a game. Everything was prepared for me. Good quests, thrilling adventures, flashy items, happy memories, stories that made me smile, and warm people. I thought I had talent, and people often told me I did.

After solving problems that arose in small villages, the villagers praised me as a hero, and my pride swelled. Mercenaries I met on the road called me a genius, and the knights I met in the castles asked to learn from me.

Following the guideposts, I spent most of the time alone, but whenever I did meet people, they would all begin to admire me.

I truly believed I was a hero, and I felt that way myself. But...

“

Aaaaarghhhhh!

”

“...”

It didn't take long for me to realize that the idea that I was special and that I could do anything was nothing more than a delusion.

“

Bleeeeeech!

Damn it!

Ugh!

”

I remembered seeing blood and entrails scattered across the ground. I remembered the nausea rising from my gut and my projectile vomiting. The moment I realized this continent wasn’t a game but reality, I returned to the coward I used to be. I realized I wasn’t special at all, and I was only pretending to be special.

I thought I could become anything, but I realized that wasn’t true at all.

I realized that hiding like a coward had always been what felt safest. I found myself wanting to go back to the place I never wanted to return to.

Everything had been my delusion, and once again, I understood that I was nothing more than an idiot, a fool.

The ones who summoned me here and the ones who put a filter over my eyes... I called them demons, who had played tricks on me, but deep down, I knew that wasn’t true. I knew for a fact that it was all because they couldn’t trust me either. How could anyone entrust the fate of the world to a coward like me, to a failure? Wasn’t it ridiculous?

Even those who hailed me as a hero, summoned me to this continent, and spared no effort to support me couldn’t trust me at all. Even those who asked me for help couldn’t believe in me.

What kind of person could be more pathetic than me? From the very beginning, Sung Ji-Hoon had been nothing. I had grown incomparably stronger than before, but none of that mattered at all. I was trash, who was worried only about my own safety rather than atoning for the people I killed.

I had never been worthy of being a hero in the first place.

But...

“Mr. Ji-Hoon!”

I realized that someone had told me that I was special.

“Because you’re a hero. You said so yourself.”

I realized that someone believed in my words without any conditions.

“From what I can see, you’re absolutely not a fool, Mr. Ji-Hoon.”

I realized that someone never called me a fool.

“You think more than others, and you’re someone who knows how to think of others and be considerate. You’re warm... and sometimes you’re brave, and sometimes you’re really cool.

"Even if you hadn’t been chosen as a hero, y-you would still become someone like a full moon. Someone who can shine light on other people... on the world. I-I believe that.”

I realized that someone cared about me.

“If you need someone to pick you, then you don’t have to worry at all.”

I realized that someone had chosen me.

“I’ll pick you, Mr. Ji-Hoon.”

“

Heuuung... heuk... heuuung...

”

“...”

“

Heuuuk... heuuung...

”

That boy believed in me from the very beginning...

“Jin Yoo...

heuk... Yuriel... heuuung...

”

“Mr. Ji-Hoon! You can do it!”

“

Heuuung... heuuuk...

”

“The full moon is out. Want to go see it together?”

“

Heuuuk...

”

“Mr. Ji-Hoon!”

“

Heuuung... heuk... kgh...

”

“Mr. Ji-Hoon?”

“

Uh... ugh... kgh...

”

“Ah! Mr. Ji-Hooon...”

“Yurieeel...

heuuk...

”

“Heuk... heuuk... Mr. Ji-Hoon...”

“

Ahh... kgh...

”

“Haa... haa... Mr. Ji-Hoon... Mr. Ji-Hoon...”

I realized...

“...”

“...”

...that he would always be by my side.

“Y-you caught me.”

And so, I couldn’t step back. I couldn’t run away or collapse to the ground because of him. Of course, I knew this was unlike me. I knew it was out of character. But... as long as Yuriel kept shining and as long as Jin Yoo had faith in me, I could never just stand still.

That was why I decided to face him instead of running away. That was why, instead of collapsing on the ground and crying, I wiped away my tears, stared straight at Ryu Han’s sword, and swung my sword.

That was why I didn’t feel the pain radiating from my wounds. That was why, even though my legs were trembling, I remained standing to the very end.

Because this was what a hero would do...

“I... am a hero...” I mumbled.

“?”

“I’m a he—

heuk

... a hero!” I shouted.

“...”

“You think I’m going to lose to a villain like you?! I’m a hero chosen to save the continent... chosen by the Holy Sword, by the Saint, and by my friends!” I roared.

“...”

“I’m going to become someone like a full moon... I'm still weak, but someday... someday, I’ll definitely become someone like the full moon—

heuk

... I will!” I declared.

“...”

“

Heuk... heuuuk...

Become someone who shines light on the world... I’ll become someone like that... so... I will never lose to you... I’ll never lose...” I said.

“...”

A sword came flying toward me.

‘Left.’

Things I couldn’t see before became vivid in my eyes. I realized there wasn't enough time to swing my blade to block all the slashes coming toward me from every direction.

With that in mind, I chose to block them using the hilt of my sword instead of deflecting them with the blade. I felt like my shoulders and arms were being torn off, but I couldn't collapse.

Rather than sinking to my knees in pain, I choose to take one more step forward.

A great light gathered around Yuriel as I roared, “Even if it kills me, I won’t lose to you!”

1. Sung Ji-Hoon’s POV ☜