Chapter 1332. First Life Ha-Yan (15)

“Miss Jung Ha-Yan is... Miss J-Jung Ha-Yan is...”

“...”

“

Heuk... heuuuk...

”

A cacophony of noises echoed all over the place. I, too, stood dazed among the crowd while looking up at her.

‘What... the hell...’

The confusion I felt when Jung Ha-Yan hanged herself the first time wasn’t there. I wasn't nauseous as well. Instead, a flood of inexplicable questions filled my head. I couldn’t really understand it, as I saw with my own two eyes that she was getting better.

Knowing that her condition was improving made the scene hard to understand.

I couldn’t imagine what kind of despair would drive someone to their own life, so I tried to accept the situation rationally.

Unlike last time, the room was neat and tidy; she was hanging there quietly.

“...”

“...”

Mages rushed in and gently lowered her down; Grandma Giena hugged her tightly. It wasn't my first time witnessing this scene. Kim Ah-Young wasn’t present, but the grandmother sobbing bitterly was there. I could hear the cries of the mages who loved and cared about her.

‘What the hell? Where did it all go wrong? Weren’t things... going well?’

I knew this wasn’t something I could approach with reason, but it was all I could do. I hadn’t seen her often since the Big Boy incident, but whenever we met, we would have positive and encouraging conversations. Young mages often visited Jung Ha-Yan’s room to have fun chats and share trivial memories with her.

‘Was it all meaningless?’

Perhaps none of it mattered to Jung Ha-Yan. I felt like healing and care were no longer options for her. Perhaps she had already finished putting her affairs in order, and I felt like she had long concluded that she no longer had the strength to live.

Of course, I couldn’t rule any of those possibilities out, but I still believed Jung Ha-Yan was passionate. She cared deeply about the things she loved. She talked passionately about magic with Big Boy and insisted that the Magic Tower had to change; that was a sign that she still had a flame inside her.

She probably thought those things were meaningless, but still... I believed...

‘I don’t get it. Damnit.’

I couldn't understand how someone could make such an extreme choice, such as pushing themselves off a cliff.

As I stood there staring blankly at Jung Ha-Yan, Park Joo-Hwa held my hand. I hadn’t thought I would care so much about other people’s stares, but in an instant, I found myself quietly shedding tears.

‘Geez... it’s not like she’s that weak... Why does she keep dying?’

“Are you all right?” Grandma Giena asked.

“I-I’m okay. Seeing corpses... is something I’m used to,” I answered.

After that, Grandma Giena turned to me. It was natural, as I had been the closest to her lately.

“Miss Jung Ha-Yan—”

“S-She was doing well. She often smiled when we were together... I-I just... I don’t understand why this happened...” I mumbled.

“...”

“It’s just... I really can’t understand...” I added.

“This poor child had gone through so much pain... both before she got here and afterward. Poor thing,” Grandma Giena remarked.

From an objective standpoint, others would probably think that Jung Ha-Yan lived a successful life, but regardless of anyone's position in society, they had their own burdens to carry.

And each person could only endure so much pain.

No one could truly weigh the weight of suffering on a scale. For Jung Ha-Yan, the idea that she had indirectly killed someone was simply unbearable. Or perhaps the crushing responsibility of standing at the peak of the Magic Tower weighed on her.

Perhaps...

‘First Ki-Young.’

Jung Ha-Yan had always been more sensitive than most when it came to being loved and loving someone in return. It was only natural to wonder if he had neglected her too much, considering that he was the reason Ha-Yan ended her own life.

Pretending he had no connection at all would be strange.

“Joo-Hwa, I think that’s enough...” Grandma Giena said.

‘She has to stay.’

“I-If there’s something I can do, I want to help,” I told her.

“...”

“I want to help,” I added.

‘She probably won’t allow it, right?’

There were things I had to find. Letters exchanged with First Ki-Young, if any, and whatever she had probably left behind. However, there was no way she could leave a kid in such a place. Even setting aside my age, the value of what Jung Ha-Yan had left behind meant it would be more than just sorting through mementos.

If they thought about dividing up some of the stacked theses, then the two factions would surely fight over it.

‘At least she’s reasonable.’

“...”

“...”

With a determined face, I looked straight at her and said, “I-I must do this.”

“Is there... something bothering you... no, never mind...” Grandma Giena said.

‘She seems to have noticed something.’

“Go ahead. Joo-Hwa,” Grandma Giena called out.

“Yes, Master,” Joo-Hwa answered.

“Take good care of this child. I...” Grandma Giena paused.

“Yes, Master. Please go and rest,” Joo-Hwa answered.

Grandma Giena was finding it hard to endure the shock, and she needed some time to recover.

After that, the real investigation began. As always, the possibility of murder had to be considered, so rangers were called to check for signs of forced entry, while investigators cast their forensic spells. Of course...

‘Nothing will turn up.’

It was clearly a suicide.

‘The letters must be here. If she truly met with First Ki-Young, then they have to exist somewhere.’

The mages who arrived later were interested only in Jung Ha-Yan’s research and spells.

Sure enough, raised voices soon echoed throughout the place.

“Wait! What are you taking right now?!”

“Put that down!”

“I said put it down!”

“Isn’t Miss Jung Ha-Yan’s research the property of the Magic Tower? We were only planning to store it elsewhere for now...”

“I said, put it down! Don’t touch any of her research materials. The elder mages will decide how to handle them later... so until then, don’t touch anything. Preserving the scene is the first principle, isn’t it?”

“

Oh

, so now you care? You ignored Miss Jung Ha-Yan while she was alive... and suddenly you want her work...”

“If you were so concerned, where were you before things spiraled this far? What exactly were you doing while she was suffering?!”

‘Damn... I’ve never seen assholes as disgusting as them.’

Park Joo-Hwa had promised to watch over me, but now, she was preoccupied with breaking up the sudden fight. Naturally, I looked around using Mind’s Eye.

Jung Ha-Yan had to have hidden away something precious here.

‘It must be sealed with magic.’

𝚏𝐫𝚎𝗲𝕨𝐞𝐛𝕟𝚘𝐯𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝗺

The second-rate mages here would never notice something like that.

‘They can’t even find the key to the spatial expansion spell. Pathetic...’

They hadn’t even managed to open the cabinet yet. Jung Ha-Yan’s room was practically a mini dungeon. There were layers upon layers of formulas, spells, and barriers. I could see them fretting, terrified that a single mistake would ruin her research.

All they could touch were the documents lying in plain sight.

‘Only trained experts will be able to sort this mess out properly.’

My eyes landed on a small drawer where Jung Ha-Yan had kept the rope. I slid it open and only saw an empty space. At least, that was how it appeared. However, a hidden lock shimmered faintly in my eyes. I injected mana into it, twisted, and with a soft

click

, the concealed compartment was revealed.

As expected, a bundle of letters appeared. I slipped them into my robe at once.

With all the shouting and chaos in the room, no one noticed what I had done.

“...”

“...”

“Let’s go back,” I said.

“

Huh?

Already?” Park Joo-Hwa asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“T-Then, I’ll go fetch my master,” she said.

“All right.”

After telling Park Joo-Hwa that I was heading back, I slipped out of Jung Ha-Yan’s room. I wasn’t sure when it started, but there were so many letters.

‘They were exchanging these even before they knew each other’s faces.’

Some letters spoke of how much they looked forward to their meeting, while others whispered words of love. Flowery prose filled the pages, rambling nonsense about how they were destined for one another.

The backgrounds and identities were all a lie. There wasn’t a single thing here that could be called the truth, and for a moment, I even wondered whether reading these meant anything at all.

Letters offering comfort, though it was hardly comfort, stood out here and there.

Empathy for her situation, pity... and then... requests that she stay by his side.

“...”

“...”

It wasn’t some romantic proposal.

The letters talked about a coming great war and a judgement upon humanity. One couldn’t simply dismiss it as ridiculous or absurd. Jung Ha-Yan wouldn’t have taken it as a joke either. It was tied to the recent strange phenomena all over the world, after all.

‘The Outer Gods?’

'Is he preparing as well? Is he up in the North now?'

The final letter stated, "If you cannot stand with me, then we cannot stand together anymore." It was a cruel request that demanded Jung Ha-Yan to choose one of the two options. It was written plainly, but one could feel the weight behind the words.

‘Is this why?’

Was it because she couldn’t choose anything? Perhaps she thought dying... was better.

‘Is this the butterfly effect I caused?’

In the original first life, Jung Ha-Yan took First Ki-Young's side. On the outside, she seemed to be on humanity’s side, but she had clearly taken Ki-Young’s hand. Now, she probably couldn’t make that choice anymore.

There were too many variables to be certain, but it was possible.

Regardless, the important thing was to bring Jung Ha-Yan back to life, but it raised another question.

‘Is it even right... to bring her back?’

‘No... or am I the one who keeps killing Jung Ha-Yan?’

'To push the timeline back toward the original future, do I have to keep rewinding time, saving Jung Ha-Yan, letting her die, saving her again, letting her die again, over and over until the predetermined fate plays out?'

When I thought about Jung Jin-Ho’s case, I couldn’t dismiss that assumption.

No matter what I was going to do, every outcome could still feed into the destined future. If the puzzle was constructed so that the first life would happen as planned, then Jung Ha-Yan's death was inevitable. My struggle wouldn't matter at all. I was probably just leading her to her scheduled death.

“...”

“...”

If that was true, then...

‘Then I really am Young Death, damn it.’

Jung Jin-Ho’s final words were probably not just a bunch of nonsense. Instead, they were perhaps a curse and a prophecy. I couldn't help but think that way.