Chapter 38 – Falling Petals (6)

“Ossrey, hang in there just a little longer. The Order of the White Crow will be here soon,” Sina said as she cut a demonic slave approaching her. It was still awkward using her left arm, which turned numb just from swinging it.

Sina could feel her mouth drying and her throat tightening, but she couldn’t stop fighting back even for a second. One after another, the approaching footsteps seemed like they would never stop, while Sina continued swinging her sword.

“I can still hear the sound of someone fighting. There should still be some knights holding out.”

Clank!?

Suddenly, Sina’s sword seemed to get stuck between bones. Flustered, she tried to pull out her sword, but it wasn’t easy. Meanwhile, a demonic slave swung its short sword at her, but Sina blocked it with her right arm, resulting in a deep cut on the arm that was already dangling lifelessly. With the short sword still embedded in her arm, she slammed her body against the demonic slave and fell on top of it, stabbing its neck numerous times with her sword.

“We are the Order of the Blue Rose. We will never lose to such monsters.”

As Sina was stumbling to stand back up, she heard the sound of something tearing through the air. Sina toppled down with a sharp pain in her neck as if it was broken.

Although Sina couldn’t see properly, she could locate her enemy from the direction of the arrow that pierced her body. Sina screamed, charging forward and stabbing her enemy with a sword and then returned to Ossrey in haste while half crawling.

“It’s time to revive our hometown, don’t you think?” Sina asked Ossrey.

Sina belatedly realized that there was an arrow stuck in her left eye. It seemed like it had been embedded in her outer cranium instead of inside of her head due to it being shot obliquely. After almost fainting from the tremendous pain in an attempt to pull the arrow out, Sina settled with breaking the arrow instead. Sina could feel the arrowhead rattling inside her cranium, but she roared as she flung the arrow shaft.

“We will survive and return together! Ossrey!”

Ossrey never answered her calls.

Sina’s vision was blurry, and it was doubtful if she could even see clearly; her vision would at times turn red or, at times a faint gray. Sina would cut any moving silhouette she saw and block them with her right arm if she couldn’t cut them. Her right arm looked more like minced meat rather than an arm—in fact, the only reason she was still capable of holding onto her sword was due to the dry blood sticking the sword to her hand.

“...”

Sina no longer spoke to Ossrey. To be accurate, she couldn’t part her bloody and dried lips. She could no longer see any moving silhouettes, but still swung her sword instinctively whenever the fog was swayed by the wind. She didn’t know since when, but her other senses had become extremely active in response to her failing eyesight. Sina could feel the movement of the fog and the sensation of wind brushing against her body; she could even taste the blood mixed with the mist. Sina couldn’t tell whether she was still alive or not.

‘Maybe I’m already dead and still fighting in hell.’

Sina wasn’t even sure if it was day or night anymore—she had long since lost track of time. It seemed like over a hundred years had passed since she heard Ossrey replying to her. Regardless, Sina couldn’t let go of her sword. She felt as if someone was holding the sword for her as she lost all sensation in her hand. It was almost as if someone was swinging her sword to cut the enemies for her and helping her stay on her feet. Even though Sina shuddered not knowing who it was, it wasn’t a bad feeling—Sina was in a zone. She recalled the words she received when she was kicked out of the capital.

‘You lack faith in His Majesty.’

Sina was still a knight in the distant memory,

‘You can’t become a knight with that mindset.

’

But right now, she was more of a knight than ever.

Sina cut down another silhouette through the fog, and beyond the fog, a faint light brightened the surrounding.

Sina struggled to look up; although she still couldn’t see anything, she could feel bright sunshine instead of heavy fog and darkness. Someone was watching over her, and Sina instinctively realized that light was the warmth that had been guiding her until now. Sina’s cracked lips automatically parted as she slowly knelt before the light.

“Your Majesty.”

Sina tried to drop her sword, but her rigid muscles didn’t allow it. Sina put her hands on the floor and bowed her head while holding a sword.

“I give my greetings to Your Majesty, the Emperor.”

His Majesty didn’t respond, but Sina wasn’t disappointed. His Majesty never responded, only watched and guided; His Majesty’s volitions were manifested through the knights of the empire.

“I’ve tried my best to follow your will, but I lack the strength.”

Sina didn’t really believe any of this to be real. She thought that she was already dead and was finally meeting His Majesty—now it was time for her to receive the final judgment. Sina just felt calm and light-hearted. She felt that it was better for her to have died with her comrades, since it would be cruel for her to have survived alone.

𝒇𝒓𝙚𝒆𝔀𝓮𝓫𝒏𝓸𝙫𝓮𝓵.𝓬𝙤𝙢

“I’ve never been praised for being your foremost believer,” Sina admitted serenely.

Sina had never earned the recognition of the Priests, Clerics, Bishops, Inquisitors, and Templars—all those that claimed themselves to be the closest to His Majesty. They questioned Sina’s faith and ostracized her values. Sina felt very confused.

“But I can confidently say that I have never committed anything shameful in your name,” Sina claimed.

Sina couldn’t do any shameless acts. She was fully aware that she had betrayed her mother’s expectations for her to join the imperial guards—from being the most promising and talented individual to being reduced to a knight stationed at the borders.

“I await your punishment.”

Sina couldn’t tell if His Majesty cared, but she didn’t mind.

She didn’t worship His Majesty while hoping for reward or punishment. She decided to accept His Majesty’s silence as a punishment; however, His Majesty suddenly spoke.

“I—”.

Surprised at his sudden voice, Sina raised her head. It was unprecedented to hear His Majesty respond. The Clerics, Bishops, and even the Pope would only manifest His Majesty’s volition through the movement of the stars, extreme changes in weather or the saintess’s ambiguous prophecy.

But His Majesty was clearly speaking in front of Sina, with the voice she had always imagined him to have.

“—have never shown my will to anyone.”

Sina shook at his answer. If he had never shown his will to anyone, then the words and actions of the Church had been a lie all along.

“I have never told anyone to serve me, or distort my teachings. I have never told anyone to set villages on fire, nor did I tell anyone to praise me with the blood of the weak—none of this was my will.”

Sina felt as if she had been struck by lightning.

“Your Majesty, then does that mean I…”

“However, that doesn’t mean you have been serving a phantom,” the Emperor answered Sina before she finished her words, almost as if he knew what she was about to say.

“I simply wanted you all to live according to your own will. You have done well and you are already a good knight. You are already bright and beautiful just the way you are, so continue being yourself.”

Sina’s eyes blurred. Throughout her whole life, she had been rejected by people she admired. Even the ones she cared about all left her. But at this moment, the apex of humanity, His Majesty had approved of her.

“What more can I say for you,” the Emperor muttered in pity.

Sina, on the other hand, felt utterly odd.

“The night is approaching, and it will get so dark that you might suspect that nights until now had been nothing but twilight. But I want you to remain bright even in the darkest nights and become a light for those in need of help.”

“I will gladly burn my body and become the firewood for the lighthouse for Your Majesty’s sake.”

“Not for me,” the Emperor whispered softly.

“For those lost in the darkness.”

***

Sina slowly opened her eyes to the sound of burning wood. She could see a dark sky above her, so dark that it felt as if being surrounded by the bright light just before had all been a dream.

Sina realized that she was still alive as she felt the warmth of a woodfire on her right cheek.

When Sina tried to stand up, she felt terrible pain throughout her body and screamed.

“You are so loud.”

Sina’s entire body was aching in pain, and every single cell of her body was throbbing.

At that moment, Sina felt something entering her mouth—a finger. Blood was dripping out from a long cut on the finger. Sina tried to spit out the finger once she realized she was drinking blood, but she couldn’t put strength in her body.

“It’s good for you, so just drink it.”

Sina had no choice. Oddly enough, Sina felt the pain going away as she drank the blood dripping from the finger. It was only after a long while that Sina regained her consciousness to realize the finger was no longer in her mouth. Sina turned her head to find someone crouching in the dark. Sina had recalled the silhouette.

“Juan.”

“It took you two days to wake up. I was about to leave you if you didn’t open your eyes today,” Juan answered.

Juan was sitting at a distance where the warmth from the woodfire didn’t reach. Sina tried to get herself up, but soon gave up; even putting aside the pain, her muscles convulsed whenever she put strength into her body. Sina searched for her sword, and saw her sword and equipment hanging on the tree nearby. That’s when Sina realized she was naked.

“I had no choice but to treat you,” Juan complained.

Sina glared at Juan, but didn’t blame him. Like Juan said, her body was filled with scars from burning and sewing skin together. Although it was roughly done, the treatment was definitely done properly.

“I thought you said that you were going to kill me,” Sina said.

“I said I wouldn’t kill you with my own hands. I didn’t think you would survive until the end.”

“...What about the other knights? Any more survivors?”

“No, just you.”

Sina felt her eyes water even though she had already expected everyone to die.

“You should’ve left me to die. I would have died on my own if you left me without treatment.”

Sina had at least three to four fatal injuries as far as she could remember. If she had been left alone, she would have died in the village square of excessive bleeding among her comrades.

Juan didn’t answer.

“Did you save me to make me taste despair? Or was it to show me how helpless I am?”

“I don’t have the time to waste on a bad hobby of humiliating you.”

“Then tell me.”

Juan didn’t want to answer, but he knew Sina wouldn’t let go of this topic until he gave her an answer.

“I’m planning to use you as a messenger.”

“A messenger?” Sina questioned.

“Yes. Seeing that the Order of the White Crow didn’t come, it seems like the Templars of the Order of the White Crow are unaware of how serious this situation is. If the Templars had joined, maybe the Order of the Blue Rose wouldn’t have been defeated so miserably. Don’t you think that the Order of the Blue Rose would’ve had a better chance to resist with their help?”

While Juan was speaking, Sina fiercely moved her body in anger and fainted for a moment. When she had regained consciousness again, Juan was moving her body away from the woodfire.

“It feels like I’m looking after a child playing near the cliff,” Juan said sarcastically.

“They were all honorable knights. Do not disrespect them.”

“Considering that they died on the battlefield, sure. I guess, there could be worse. Anyway, I spared your life because I needed someone to deliver my message to the capital.”

“If you think I’ll be a messenger for a heretic, you’re wrong.”

“Just listening to what I’m saying now is enough. Those bastards from the capital will look into your head anyway. Go and tell them—”

Sina couldn’t deny it. It was true that there were people in the capital that could use drugs and magic to do so.

Juan bent his waist down to Sina, and his black eyes with endless depth looked like an abyss even darker than the night sky.

“—that the emperor has returned. Tell them those who dared to use the emperor’s title and distort his volition will be punished, that even death cannot wash away their sins. Tell them the traitors will meet not the benevolent emperor they remember, but the emperor full of anger and revenge. Tell them the emperor has returned,” Juan whispered with a bleak smile. “Tell them the emperor has returned with his sword.”

Sina remained in silence as she couldn’t take her eyes off Juan. She was grasped by overwhelming power. She felt as if she was being held tightly in his fist just by looking at his eyes.

Sina didn’t bother to ask Juan who the emperor was, as Juan gave her the answer several times. Although Sina never affirmed, Juan’s words were shaking Sina.

The emperor she met in her dream said that he had never ordered his will to anyone. This meant that all those representing His Majesty’s will at the capital could be lying.

“You are not His Majesty,” moaned Sina as she resisted; that was all she could do. “His Majesty doesn’t hold hatred. He knows the value of forgiveness and love,” Sina refuted as Juan laughed at her.

“You know nothing. The emperor had always brought nothing but despair.”

“That’s a lie. His Majesty gave courage to humankind that was suffering.”

“It’s not a lie. The emperor always brought the deepest despair to his ‘enemies.’”

“Do not distort His Majesty’s will!” Sina shouted.

“I don’t know what more to say. I’m only interpreting my own words,” Juan smirked.

“...There are still lots of people awaiting His Majesty’s revival,” Sina retorted as she glared at Juan.

“Of course there are. I saw them too.”

“You are definitely not the emperor they are anticipating. Of course, there’s no way you really are His Majesty and I will never acknowledge it, but if you still claim yourself to be the emperor…I can’t leave you alone.” Sina glared at Juan. She only had one eye left, but her glare was even stronger than when she had both eyes. “I will have no choice but to kill you to protect them from the despair you will bring.”

“I guess it can’t be helped when you gain the ability to kill me,” Juan smiled in satisfaction.

Juan reached his hand toward the left side of Sina’s face. Sina struggled to avoid his hand, but her body was out of her control. The moment his hand covered Sina’s left eye, she felt a burning pain.

“—!”

It was such tremendous pain that Sina couldn’t even scream.

Juan spent a long time scalding a big scar deep on the left side of her face. During the time, Sina repeatedly fainted and woke up several times while convulsing. Then finally, Sina foamed at her mouth and completely lost consciousness.

“If you were the only one who survived again, the capital will definitely be hard on you. But they won’t suspect you when they see that scar,” Juan murmured as he looked down at Sina’s drooped body.