Epilogue Chapter 34 - Proper Sexual Education (4)

BOOM!

A thunderous sound echoed throughout Oh Kang-Woo’s home as the chair Kim Si-Hun was sitting on split into two. The powerful shockwave sent the table made of marble flying.

“H-Hey! Si-Hun!!!” Kang-Woo just barely grabbed Si-Hun’s shoulders as he was about to charge at Kang-Hyun. “C-Calm down, dammit!”

“Let go of me, hyung-nim!”

Si-Hun’s eyes were filled with so much bloodlust that not a hint of reason could be seen in them. Although he did not unsheathe his sword because there was at least a sliver of reason remaining, Si-Hun’s entire body was no different from a weapon as his title of Martial God would suggest.

‘If he were to slap or punch Kang-Hyun in this state...’

“D-Darling! Help me hold Si-Hun down!”

“I-Impregnated...? My son... impregnated the precious daughter of another family...?”

“Hello...?”

“Child parents... cold gazes from society... ostracized by classmates... a-a tragic decision! Urgh! M-My head...!”

“The hell?”

‘Not you too, Darling!’

“Th-There is no need to worry!” shouted Kang-Hyun as he clenched his fists. “I-I will... take responsibility for Si-Ah!”

“...”

“...”

Silence fell again.

RUMBLE—!!!

“H-H-H-Hey!! Si-Hun! Your Qi! Withdraw your Qi!!!”

‘The building is gonna collapse!’

“I know we’re still young, but... I’m sure I can make a happy family with Si-Ah!”

“Kang-Hyun, how dare you... my precious daughter...!”

“Son! Please shut the hell up!”

‘What the fuck? When the hell did this son of a bitch Si-Hun get so strong?!’

Kang-Woo grabbed Si-Hun by his waist and just barely managed to pull him away from Kang-Hyun.

He shouted, “J-Just calm down for a second! I’ll ask Kang-Hyun what happened!”

“Haaa, haaa. Huuu...”

Kang-Woo’s frantic effort paid off. Si-Hun took deep breaths to calm down his breathing and withdrew the Qi blasting from himself.

“I understand...”

Si-Hun stepped backward as he glared at Kang-Hyun as if ready to cut him down at any second. Kang-Woo sighed in relief and approached his son trembling from Si-Hun’s overpowering bloodlust.

“Are you okay, son?” he asked.

“Ah, yes. I-I’m fine.”

Kang-Woo could tell he wasn’t fine from his face as white as a sheet. He did not want to pry Kang-Hyun for what happened in this kind of situation but he had no choice because of Si-Hun’s intense glare.

“Alright, son. You take deep breaths too.”

“Huuu, haaa.”

“Good. Do you feel better now?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. So... what do you mean by that you impregnated Si-Ah?”

“Well...” Kang-Hyun glanced at Si-Hun and cautiously explained what happened. “I was sparring with Si-Ah behind the school... but I tripped, and... we ended up making a b-baby!”

“What...?”

‘Wait, so... your thing penetrated her as you tripped? Are you a Saudi millionaire or something?’

Si-Hun frowned intensely. “What a blatant lie...!”

Kang-Hyun quickly shook his head. “I-I’m not lying! I tripped and we ended up... k-kissing!”

“Huh...?”

“Kissing...?”

Si-Hun and Kang-Woo stared at Kang-Hyun dumbfoundedly.

“Oh,” Kang-Woo expressed, feeling dizzy as if a sledgehammer smashed into his head. “Ahh, right. Yeah... I see what happened.”

He had completely forgotten due to the absurdity of the situation but he had more or less figured out what had happened.

“What’s the meaning of this, hyung-nim...?”

“Oh, you see—”

“Oppa... kissed?”

Kang-Woo noticed Kang-Hee, frozen at the front door, as he was about to explain to Si-Hun what was going on. Lilith was also there, holding shopping bags with an awkward expression, and Lilia watching the scene as if she would love some popcorn.

“What the...”

‘What’s with this timing?’

“O-O-Oppa! Wh-What do you mean?! You kissed that bitch Si-Ah?!” shouted Kang-Hee as she approached Kang-Hyun in shock.

Kang-Hyun slightly frowned. “Kang-Hee. That’s no way to talk about someone older than you.”

“Who cares about that right now?! That cat burglar kissed you!!”

‘And if they kissed...’

Kang-Hee recalled what she and Kang-Hyun talked about on their way to school today.

“I heard from Mother that babies are made with a kiss between a man and a woman.”

‘Babies are born through kissing. Oppa and Si-Ah kissed. That means...’

“Oppa and Si-Ah unnie... made a baby?”

The light in Kang-Hee’s eyes disappeared, leaving only darkness. Her empty eyes gazed at Kang-Hyun.

“Oppa... My oppa...” Kang-Hee bit her nails as she mumbled, “Unforgiveableunforgiveableunforgiveableunforgiveableunforgiveableunforgiveableunforgiveable...”

Kang-Hee continued to repeat the same word as she slowly approached Kang-Hyun.

“Ah...” Kang-Woo groaned at the sight and covered his face with his hands as he drowned in regret.

‘Fuck. I shouldn’t have bullshitted and taught him properly. So this is why people say sexual education is important.’

Kang-Woo understood the importance of proper sexual education at last.

He remarked, “Now, now. Calm down, everyone.”

He couldn’t neglect the water that was already spilled. He clapped his hands together to gather everyone’s attention to him.

“First of all... let me apologize.”

“Apologize?”

“What do you mean, hyung-nim?”

Kang-Woo placed his hand on his son’s shoulder and continued, “I’m sorry, son. Babies aren’t made through kissing.”

“Pardon...?” Kang-Hyun’s eyes widened in shock. “Th-Then are you saying Mother lied to me?”

“Uhhh... Yeah, I guess so?”

“Wh-Why would she lie about that?!” he shouted, teary-eyed.

‘If babies aren’t made through kissing, that means... Si-Ah isn’t pregnant?’

Not knowing that, he had declared to Si-Ah’s father that he would take responsibility and told him not to worry about her.

“A-Aaaahh.”

Kang-Hyun stepped backward, his face bright red. He had stood proudly earlier because of the responsibility that came with becoming a parent but after finding out it was a lie, a tsunami of shame engulfed him.

“U-Umm... Wh-What I said earlier... about taking responsibility for Si-Ah was... uhhh...”

Kang-Hyun tried his best to make excuses as he stuttered. Kang-Woo patted his son’s head and smiled.

“No need to push yourself, son.”

“Father...?”

“You’ve expressed your feelings for Si-Ah... more than well enough.”

“U-Urgh... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!”

Kang-Hyun, unable to overcome his shame, ran into his room.

“Ah, o-oppa! Wait for me!” Kang-Hee ran after Kang-Hyun but suddenly stopped. “Umm... Mommy.”

“H-Hm? What is it?”

Kang-Hee looked around warily and got on her tiptoes to whisper in Seol-Ah’s ear. They talked as quietly as possible but was loud and clear for Kang-Woo with his transcendental senses.

“Handcuffs...? You need handcuffs?”

“Yeah.”

“M-Mommy doesn’t have anything like th—”

“I saw them in your room before.”

“Ngh.”

‘Kang-Hee... what do you need handcuffs for?’

“R-Regardless, no! I won’t let you have them!”

“No fair, Mommy...!”

Kang-Hee, betrayed by her mother whom she trusted most, ran into the room where Kang-Hyun was.

“...”

“...”

An awkward silence fell once Kang-Hee and Kang-Hyun went to their room.

“So...” Si-Hun exasperatedly stared at Kang-Woo and asked, “You taught your children babies are made through kissing?”

“Y-Yeah, I guess so.”

“Haaa. Hyung-nim...”

“I-I wasn’t the one who taught them! It was Yeon-Joo!”

‘I’m innocent!’

“But you let it happen.”

“Th-That’s...”

‘Ahem. How dare he hit me with truth bombs?’

“L-Let’s fight fair and square with incitement and fabrication!”

“What are you talking about?”

“I-I mean...”

‘I’m sorry. I never thought things would get like this.’

“Haaa. At least it was a misunderstanding. I thought my heart was gonna fall.”

“I thought my house was gonna fall.”

It was a relief that only Kang-Woo’s family used this entire apartment building— it would have resulted in terrible consequences if he had neighbors.

“Come to think of it, does... Si-Ah know?” Kang-Woo asked.

“Know what?” Si-Hun wondered.

“How babies are made.”

“Of course, she does.”

‘Whoa. It’s impressive you taught her so soon.’

“How did you teach her?” Kang-Woo asked.

“Layla, umm... taught her using a visual documentary.”

“...”

‘A visual documentary, huh? Hmm. I see. I expected nothing less from Layla.’

“Hyung-nim, the earlier you teach your children about sexual information, the better. It’ll only cause more chaos if you avoid it.”

“I-I know, dammit.”

“You taught your son babies were made through kissing when you knew that?”

“I told you it wasn’t me!” Kang-Woo sighed deeply and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman was nothing to be embarrassed about. There was no need to hide it anymore.

‘I’ll tell them straight up that babies are made through sex!’

Kang-Woo imagined explaining the process to his son and daughters in detail as they watched a visual documentary.

“Urgh...”

‘I can’t. I won’t! How the fuck am I supposed to watch porn with my children?!’

Kang-Woo wouldn’t be able to handle his loving son and daughters asking things like

‘Why is that unnie screaming like that?’

or

‘Father, I thought babies were made by the connection of two genitals. Why is she putting it in her mouth?’

.

‘Wh-What should I do...?’

Kang-Woo frantically racked his brain to think of an idea and one popped into his mind like a lightning bolt.

“Ahh, that’s right. I can do

that

.”

“Hyung-nim?”

“Si-Hun. Anyone who commits crimes should be punished accordingly, right?”

“Oh... Well, yes. Of course.”

“Yeah. It’s only natural.”

One must reap what they had sown.

“Lilith.”

“Yes, my love?”

“Prepare some visual documentaries for me.”

***

“Hell yeah~ I get to go home early~!”

It was 3 PM, a time when others were likely busy at their jobs but Yeon-Joo earned a sick leave for a legitimate reason.

‘I wanna clock out early because I’m the guildmaster. Got a problem with that? Then you be a guildmaster too.’

She hummed as she headed home.

“I’ll do my dailies first~ use up my stamina~ and play a few ranked games!”

With that, she would close yet another productive day.

Clack.

Yeon-Joo opened the front door and was met with her lovely son waiting at the door for her.

“Oh, welcome back, Mother.”

“Wow, were you waiting for me to come home, my baby?”

“Rather... it was because I have something to ask you.”

“Y-You do? What is it this time?”

“It’s about the babymaking.”

“O-Oh~ that? I already answered that question bef—”

“I already know babies aren’t made through kissing.”

“R-Really...?”

An uneasy feeling traveled down Yeon-Joo’s back.

“I asked Father how babies are really made and he told me to watch this visual documentary with you to learn.”

Kang-Hyun was holding a black flash drive the size of a finger. Yeon-Joo did not need to think long and hard about what Kang-Hyun meant by

visual documentary

.

“Mother,” Kang-Hyun called.

“...”

“You’ll teach me how babies are made this time, won’t you? Oh, Kang-Hee will be watching with us.”

“...” Yeon-Joo frantically looked around the house. “Wh-Where’s your father?”

“Father went out with the other mothers.”

“That son of a bitch!!!”

‘He ditched me!’

Translator’s Note:

Can we fucking not...? These are goddamn elementary school kids... Porn is not the only way to teach proper sex ed.